Feeling It Deep Within
by WeakHeart
Summary: Maria finds herself desperate and disturbed at the Abbey after running away from the von Trapp villa. However, and despite her despair, it turns out that life saves her more surprises than she could possibly have imagined. Will she be strong enough to face the Captain and her feelings?
1. Confusion and Guilt

Confusion and guilt. These were the two feelings Maria Rainer had been tormented by lately.

Knelt next to her bed in the small room that was her bedroom at the Abbey, she had her hands joined and her head slightly bowed as she was about to begin her prayer. Whilst trying to keep focused on the thoughts she was addressing to God, there were two things which kept destabilizing her: _confusion and guilt_.

"My Lord," she began, pretty unsure of what would come next, "Thank you for the love you've given me when I had no one to care for me. Blessed be the Reverend Mother, Sister Margaretta, Sister Sofia, Sister Berthe and each and every one of the sisters in the Abbey."

Although she was trying to sound convinced, she could feel her heart wasn't in it. She breathed a deep sigh before continuing. "Bless Liesl, Frederich, Louisa, Kurt, Brigitta, Marta, Gretl, Frau Schmidt, the Baroness, Max and the Captain. Please keep a safe eye on the children and help them to understand my choice. Give their father the strength to keep making them feel loved as I can't be there to check it for myself anymore."

She paused again, this time staring widely at her hands. It was one of the first time she had become emotional over a prayer. In fact, every prayer she had done in the past week had ended up with her voice shaking and her hands rubbing against each other as if looking for comfort.

"In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, Amen."

With that, she climbed onto her bed without putting herself under the covers and lay there, fixating on the ceiling, utterly lost in her thoughts. She was feeling, as she kept reminding herself, guilty and confused. She was confused because of the feeling she could hardly describe that had taken over her in the past few months.

Maria had arrived at the von Trapp villa two months prior. She had been assigned the role of governess to seven tricky children who were desperately seeking for their father's love and attention. Upon bringing some peace and happiness back to this family she had grown to love so much, Maria had gotten closer to the children and how surprising as it could be, to their father as well. Because, despite the frozen welcoming and constant dry and sarcastic remarks she'd received from him, it turned out that the Captain wasn't the cold-hearted and emotionless man he would let appear.

They had been talking about everything and anything, and she had come to discover another side of the imposing sea captain. He could be very nice, always a gentleman, but he also could be comical and very passionate about certain subjects, such as books and history. This was something that really did surprise her. These common interests took them both into deep and long conversations they would sometimes have at night in the sitting room. When it happened, it would always be the same; she would put the children to bed and then go back to the lounge to ask the Captain his approval for an activity she had an idea to do with the children. He would then invite her for a drink, under the eye of a perplexed Baroness and a very amused Max, and she would awkwardly join them while he was pouring her a glass of water. Despite not knowing the Baroness very well but being impressed by her elegance and her composure, there was something about her that was making Maria feel uncomfortable. Whenever they would find themselves in the same room, she had the unpleasant feeling of being eyed from toes to hair by the Baroness, as if she were a curious beast. This had begun on the night of the puppet show, when the Captain had sung Edelweiss so beautifully that it had taken her breath away.

Each time the Captain had handed her the glass of water and she was sat on the couch, more or less at ease with the situation, they would begin to talk. Soon enough the Baroness would excuse herself and leave in her always perfect gait that wasn't hiding her small hint of annoyance, and was then followed by Max who would try (not too much) hiding the grin under his thin moustache. That would leave the Captain and Maria alone, debating about diverse books or ancient battles until one of them would notice how late it was. They would then get up and wish each other a good night, before reluctantly part to their respective bedrooms.

Every time this would happen, Maria went to bed with a feeling of happiness she had never felt before. She would say her nightly prayer and thank God for her life, and then she was excitedly tucking into bed and sleeping peacefully.

There were other times the Captain and herself were having small contacts with each other, a glance, a smile or an accidental physical contact that was making her heart jump in her chest. In the beginning, she would wonder what kind of manner were these exchanges but after a few weeks, she realized with confusion that she was looking for his attention.

She had to admit that she was rather intrigued by the Captain, though she couldn't exactly tell why. Perhaps it was the way he was shyly proposing his help to Gretl when she was drawing, or the way Frederich and him were knowingly talking about the newest ship the Navy had purchased, or even the way Liesl would show him how to braid Marta's hair. He had been so clumsy and had apologized at least three times for hurting her when he'd dared to try that Maria had found it absolutely endearing. It could even be the way he smiled when offering Brigitta four of his personal books that almost made Maria's heart give out. Not to mention how handsome he looked and how she felt like his blue eyes were devouring her…

In spite of this newfound attraction for her employer, Maria was not worrying too much about any consequences. After all, she could easily have been imagining things and he was almost engaged to the Baroness. Moreover, she still wanted to become a nun and wasn't thinking about any other way to spend the rest of her life; she had never considered any other possibility. But what made it all different was that night. Oh, that special night.

She couldn't understand what had possessed her, it was maybe the atmosphere of the party, the music, the women in their stunning dresses and the couples dancing everywhere or the adorable and happy state the children were in, but she had without any hesitation taken the Captain's hand to dance the Laender. She hadn't been thinking about anything from the moment he had wrapped his gloved, but strong hand in her small and delicate one. From the moment they had taken their first steps, she had forgotten about the people in the ballroom. She had forgotten about the Baroness and forgotten about her being a postulant. It had only been about the two of them, for this short instant, about his electric wide eyes which deeply dove into her own, which were glowing brightly. It had been about the feeling of their hands together, of their bodies brushing against one another, about their hearts beating so fast that she was wondering how she had managed to stay upright the whole time. They had been so close, so intensely close that she had to ask herself if it was possible to get even closer to someone. As they danced, she was far away from the villa, far away from Austria, far away from this world. It felt like she had gone light as a feather, like he was about to take her to Heaven, like they were in a dream.

Unfortunately, the dream was broken as she heard the music again, the guests talking once more, she could feel the fresh air gently skimming over her skin, and she let his hand go, slowly taking a few steps back, without breaking the eye contact.

"I don't remember anymore." It was the only words her mouth had been able to throw out to justify that sudden break. God knew she was lying, but her heart was racing, her cheeks were burning, and her thoughts were getting mixed up all together.

She couldn't think, she wouldn't dare think about what could possibly be happening to her, but she knew nothing else would matter anymore if not him. He was standing right in front of her, more handsome than ever, his eyes still on hers, and she knew he wasn't self-possessed either, although he was trying to remain composed as he had always been. But she could read behind his dark, ocean eyes that he was as messed up as she was.

"Your face is all red."

Brigitta had broken the spell. Distracted, she brought her hands to her cheeks and replied, her eyes still trained onto the Captain's:

"Is it?" She was probably making a fool of herself right now because she could feel the heat under her skin. She made a small pause before carrying on. "I suppose I'm not used to dancing." She was giving the Captain the slightest of smiles, but when the Baroness interrupted. She was thumped in the stomach, violently brought back to reality: this party was supposed to pave the way for the announcement of their engagement. Her mind was all muddled and everything she wanted right now was to disappear.

She heard herself saying a few words about the surprise they had been preparing for two weeks and then she hastily encouraged the children to go. After the farewell the children had made to the guests, Max approached her offer his congratulations and to invite her to join them for dinner. She wasn't exactly confident as the Captain had gestured his approval with a small movement of his hand, without really paying her any attention.

She was starting to feel even more confused. Had he felt it too, when they were dancing together? Had he felt like they were about to fly? Had he felt their breath synchronizing and their hearts beating as one? Maybe she had been imagining things again, and maybe he was only being the gentleman he had always been or he had invited her to dance because they were friends. Unsure if she should accept Max's proposition or not, she'd tried to make eye contact but he was already gone. Instead of wasting time waiting for him to beg her to stay, she made her way to her bedroom to find something more elegant and suitable to put on.

Oh, how painful it was for her to think about what happened next. The Baroness' words were still echoing inside her head.

 _"When the Captain couldn't take his eyes off you."_

 _"You are quite attractive you know, the Captain would hardly be a man if he hadn't noticed you."_

 _"He thinks he is in love with you."_

 _"Don't take_ _it too hard: he'll get over it soon enough."_

 _"That's what men do."_

And then she was again, emotionlessly lying onto her bed at the Abbey, replaying the scene in her head for the hundredth time. She had been a fool. The Baroness was right. The Captain would have forgotten her in the next few days; she was only being a distraction to him, she was only being a young innocent woman he hoped he could play with. However, it wasn't making any sense. She could swear he was feeling something for her, something true and sincere, she could feel she was loved as she had never truly been before. And she felt guilty. Guilty for leaving him alone when she was under the impression he needed her, guilty for giving up on him, guilty for fleeing like a coward, guilty for abandoning the children she loved so much. There was something wrong with her, something she couldn't put a word on.

At least she _thought_ she couldn't put a word on, but deep inside, she knew what it was.

 _Love._

 ** _Author's Note_** **: Welcome to my first Sound Of Music fanfiction! This is quite simple, basic and maybe a little bit clumsy, but there's more to come and reviews are very much appreciated, they give me motivation.**

 **I won't be able to upload for at least three weeks unfortunately as I'm going on vacations without Wi-Fi, so this is a foretaste. As I said previously, I'd be delighted to find out that some of you left reviews when I'm back.**

 **Anyway, I hope you like it as it is. I'll do my best to upload as soon as I can!**


	2. Back To Us

Another week. Another day. Another hour. Another minute. Another second.

Time was passing by as slowly as it took a snowflake to lay down delicately on a fir branch. Another week had passed by, and not a change had taken place in Maria's state of mind. She was spending most of her time in her bedroom, without making herself noticed. While she was going to masses and prayers, she would head back to her bedroom as discreetly as she had left. This Saturday marked exactly two weeks since Maria had left the von Trapp villa.

As the first rays of sunshine were slowly penetrating into the small bedroom, Maria was laying on her back, unable to go back to sleep. The preceding nights had taken on a similar pattern, and sleep was getting more and more rare. When she was succeeding in falling asleep, she would have the most marvellous of dreams, which were in absolute conflict with her mood the rest of the time. Each night, she would find herself at the villa, and each night, the same scenario was recurring.

Late. She was late again. After all, she was starting to get used to the idea she would never be on time. Sighing and exasperated with herself, she went on the double to the dining room. But as she was going across the gigantic hall, something caught her attention. One of the doors which were usually closed was left ajar, and she felt an urgent need to go and watch what was happening inside.

Intrigued, she got closer and listened. She couldn't hear a noise. The curiosity that was burning in her won over and she pushed the door so as to have a complete sight of the inside of the room.

She was stunned by what was taking place in front of her. The ballroom was even more resplendent than it was the night of the puppet show. Everything had been entirely cleaned; the floor was shining, the walls covered with dazzling golden leaves, and the crystal chandelier added to the room an aspect even more grandiose. At the back, there was an orchestra composed with all kind of instruments, and the guests were dancing graciously on the dancefloor. That's when she saw them.

The seven children had gathered in the middle of the room, smiling brightly at her as she moved forward to them. When she reached them, they didn't pronounce a word, but looked at her proudly and fondly. Confused by their attitude, she tilted her head and rose a quizzical eyebrow. Even before they could give her an answer, she felt a hand patting her shoulder and turned round. She found herself face to face with the Captain, very much handsome in his party suit, and she had felt the heat spreading in her body at a lightning pace. He was elegantly standing in front of her, as if he were only waiting for her, one hand behind his back and the other opened before him, inviting her to join him.

No words were spoken, she grabbed the hand he was offering her without posing herself any questions, only guiding by the intensity of the look they were sharing. She recognized the music of the Laendler and they made their first steps to the middle of the room full of people, not caring about the looks, simply focused on the music that was uniting them and the contact established between them.

Feeling intimidated, Maria threw a hesitant glance to the Captain who gave her one of the most reassuring smiles back. She felt herself relaxing and her body unfolding as the dance progressed. There they were again, eye to eye and body to body, breaths caught, without worrying about anything around them. As the dance grew more intense, she felt herself trembling with anticipation, looking forward to what was coming next. They were as close to each other as the last time they danced but this time, she didn't step back, and he was fixating his look with such strength that she was glad he was firmly holding her waist. Her heart was beating wildly, she swallowed heavily and looked at his lips, so beautiful, so well sculpted, and she felt him leaning on her, their mouths only inches apart…

And she was systematically waking up at the same moment.

Each time her eyelids were lifting, she had to face shame. Shame to have such thoughts about the Captain, and afterwards ashamed to have such happy dreams while she had abandoned the family. God, they might hate her so much for what she had done…

She hauled herself out of bed listlessly and headed to the small washbasin in her bedroom. She opened the tap and sprayed herself with cold water, then lifted her head up and caught her reflexion in a particle of mirror which was hanging over the washbasin. What she saw in the mirror made her gasp; it was truthfully her, but she looked completely disorientated. Her face was hollowed with fatigue, her complexion paler and her eyes, whose sparkle had disappeared, were slighter due to the lack of sleep. She sadly took her eyes off the mirror and donned her postulant dress, then she started her morning prayers.

The reason why Maria was sheltering into prayer was simple in reality: it was helping her avoid thinking too much about the Captain who was recurring in her mind too much of the rest of the time. To confide in God as she was doing was reassuring her as for her choice to take her vows. Indeed, she was interfering in a total devotion, because since she had been back, she wasn't sure to belong here anymore. As much as she loved God and the community, the thought of being cloistered for life was almost painful to her. However, she couldn't reconcile herself in what was waiting for her outside neither.

Later that day, when she was trying to get some sleep before mass, she suddenly woke up when she heard knocking at the door. Confused due to the half-sleep she had fallen in, she got up slowly and opened it, discovering Sister Berthe and Sister Margaretta on the landing, one holding a plate of pasta and the other a jug of water and an empty glass. Surprised, she didn't react but gave them a questioning look.

"Maria, dear," started Sister Margaretta, smiling at her warmly, "we have noticed that you practically ate nothing at lunch and that it's been a few days since you are skipping meals, so we have thought that it would make you happy to eat a bit."

Maria found herself disconcerted facing the situation. Maybe it was the kindness which her superiors were showing or the fact she had just realized how little she was eating these times that shocked her from her reverie. Sister Berthe, usually very firm with her, was giving her a tender look as she was handing her the plate.

"That's very kind of you, but I'm not very hungry."

This sentence had taken much time to be built in her head and to get out of her mouth. These were the first words she had pronounced except for prayers since her return. The corners of her mouth bended clumsily in a half-smile, but she noticed the disappointment in the look of the two Sisters.

"Very well then," sighed Sister Margaretta, "but I wanted to inform you that the Mother Abbess wished to receive you in her office as soon as possible."

Maria felt her heart skipping a beat. The Reverend Mother wanted to see her? Had she behaved badly recently? What could she possibly reproach her for? Maybe she wanted to dismiss her from the Abbey? Thinking about it, she decided that she deserved it; everything she was starting on was ended up in disaster, she was unable to achieve whatever it was correctly or fully.

Merely nodding in reply, she closed the door slowly before leaning against it, breathing heavily, holding her tears back. Oh, how could things get even worse?

* * *

Maria could hardly believe what she was doing. Seated on the bus, she was resting her head against the pane and was gazing at the scenery: her mountain was majestically rising in the air and was in perfect harmony with the blue sky of this end of summer. Slightly more relaxed, she thought back about what the Reverend Mother had told her and she felt herself shuddering from fear and excitement. She had to face her problems, she knew it, and in spite of the uncertainty that was waiting for her, she felt lighter since she had left the convent and admitted the truth; she needed to go back to the villa, to see the children again. But more than anything, she needed to see their father again and confess her feelings for him. The simple thought of facing him once more was making her stomach twist nervously.

What could she tell him? That she had left because she loved him and that she had come back because she loved him too? Absolutely out of the question. Maybe he was mad at her for leaving like she did and he wouldn't even accept her when she crossed the doorway. Oh, what kind of mess she had put herself in? As the panic was rising, she remembered the dance and the looks which couldn't fool. He might feel something for her as well, otherwise she was becoming crazy. A violent jerk took her away from her thoughts. She looked outside again and realized it was her stop. Panicked, she snatched her bag and guitar, before getting off the bus, banging into at least three seats and bumping into an old man whom she gave her excuses while in a complete preoccupation. When she put her foot on the ground, the bus moved off and she found herself all alone in the alley, which lead to the von Trapp villa.

Hesitation doubled by fear got the upper hand when she reached the imposing gate. No, she didn't feel like ringing the door and receiving another frozen greeting by Franz; she knew this would embarrass her even more intensely than she already was. Still in the same position, she attempted to find a way to get into the house without making more a fool of herself, but she easily realized that she had to knock on the door at some point. Nevertheless, she decided to go round the park and maybe go discreetly into the house from the back. What another silly idea, she thought, she needed to make herself known anyway. Getting a grip on herself and taking her luggage, she made her way to the back, and went along it for a few minutes. As she was getting closer to the house, she felt her heart pounding in her chest. The tension was such that she had to fight in order to remain upright.

"Think about what you love," she told herself, eyes closed as she was taking in a breath of fresh air, "Think about your favourite things and-"

Her thought was interrupted when she heard far away voices rising and singing a melody which sounded all too familiar to her. Taken aback, she listened carefully and focused a bit more.

The children. They were the ones singing this song she had taught them the night of the thunderstorm and that she sang to them when they were feeling low. Their seven voices were sadly and slowly humming the tune of the song.

 _"_ _Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes."_

She felt rising in her an impetus of energy when she distinguished clearly the lyrics of the song. Accelerating, she started to sing the continuation with them.

 _"_ _Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes, silver white winter that melt into spring, these are a few of my favourite things!"_

She barely heard herself finish the sentence when the seven of them rushed at her; she let go of what she was holding to offer a huge hug to Louisa who was the first to reach her; the embrace stretched to Brigitta, then Kurt, who she held tightly against her before bending down to take Gretl's and Marta's cheeks in her hands and blew a kiss to Liesl as she continued singing. She got up, seized the little ones' hands in her own while the eight of them proceeded to the house, singing until the last note. As soon as the song was over, they busted into laugher and looked at each other as if they hadn't known any happy moments for a while.

"Oh children, I'm so glad to see you!" She exclaimed, unable to mask her emotion any longer.

"We missed you!" They hastened to answer, still surrounding her.

"Oh I missed you." She was so happy to see them and to feel their happiness returned that all the weight on her heart was instantly lifted up.

"Kurt, how are you?" She asked the youngest boy, as they were resuming their path to the terrace.

"Hungry!" He replied quickly, which didn't surprise her at all as they all laughed. Gretl, who had stopped walking, caught her attention by showing Maria her index finger which was covered up with a bandage. Instinctively, she crouched and asked:

"Gretl what happened to your finger?"

"It got caught."

"Caught in what?" She asked, surprised.

"Frederich's teeth," she bounced back, pleased as the other children were smirking.

"Liesl, you all right?" She had noticed that the eldest was remaining silent compared to the others, which was unlike her.

"Just fair." She said, absent-minded.

"Many telegrams been delivered here lately?" She couldn't help but smile at Marta as she asked this question whose sense was implied to the young woman.

"None at all, Fraulein, but I'm learning to accept it. I'll be glad when school begins."

"Oh, Liesl." She said, sighing as they were reaching the terrace. They stopped and she looked straight into her eyes. "You can't use school to escape your problems. You have to face them!"

Funny how the lessons of life were so quickly communicable, she told herself. "Oh, I have so much to tell you all." She had no envy to tell them about her long, sad and boring journey at the Abbey but she rather wanted to tell them about her decision not to be a nun and her desire to remain their governess for a longer time.

"We have things to tell you too." They retorted, their faces sagging a bit.

"I'm sure you do." She was impatient to hear about everything they had done when she was away: their improvements in their studies, their music but also in their relationship with their father. The Captain. She had just remembered she would see him too, in only a matter of time. Thinking about it was making her heart race, but she decided to focus on the happy moment she was having with the children.

"The most important thing is that Father is going to be married," interrupted Brigitta.

Her face decayed in a flash as her heart sank into her chest.

"Married?" She repeated, somehow shaken by the news. _Married?_ How was it possible?

"Yes, to Baroness Schraeder," said Louisa slowly.

She was dumbstruck. The Baroness. The party. The engagements. How had she neglected such an important detail? She looked for a long time at Louisa who confirmed the announcement with a gesture of her head. Her mind muddled, she was at the edge of breaking down when Brigitta cried out:

"Oh, Father, look!" Frederich exclaimed on a joyous tone. "Fräulein Maria's come back from the Abbey!"

Maria then turned to face the doorway. There he was, upright, still impeccably neat, arms along his body. The Captain was gazing at her, his eyes in hers, with an inscrutable look.

"Good evening, Captain," she said politely but weakly, subtly breaking the tension which had taken over.

"Good evening." He answered in his baritone voice, giving her a slight smile. There was something in his voice that sounded quite unlike him. It was maybe hesitation, or astonishment even, but on another side, Maria could see a twinkle in his eyes, and another feeling – relief? – behind the look he was giving her, and this was something she rarely had the chance to enjoy.

"All right, everyone inside. Go and get your dinner!" He said happily, clapping both of his hands, breaking the silence. Maria let go of Marta and Gretl's hands and barely paid any attention to the noise the children made as they ran inside the villa. Once the children and the agitation were gone, the Captain went down a few steps and spoke softly, his eyes still in hers.

"You left without saying good-bye." He made a small pause. "Even to the children."

Quick. She had to answer quickly and disappear quickly.

"Well, it was wrong of me. Forgive me."

"Why did you?"

Oh, did he really have to be interested in her now?

"Please don't ask me." She said, almost painfully. "It doesn't matter, the reason no longer exists." She forced a smile, as for appeasing the tension, still present.

He didn't let go of her eyes through all that. She felt completely exposed as if he could read straight into her soul. The connection was broken when another voice rose from behind him.

"Fräulein Maria, you've returned! Isn't it wonderful, Georg?" The Baroness asked, taking the Captain's hand.

It was too much. That fake joy in her voice made her want to vomit. She was the one who made her fly away, the one who messed everything up, and the one who has caused her torment and unhappiness for the last couple of weeks.

The Baroness was too, impeccably neat, just like she had always been. Maybe the Captain and her were made for one another, Maria thought sadly. Her blond hair was sophistically arranged on the top of her head; her eyebrows were perfectly defined, and her eyelids were neatly underlined by a black, thin line of make-up. She was wearing an elegant and long pink dress. In fact, she looked perfect.

"May I wish you every happiness, Baroness." She said as she was getting closer to the stairs. "And you too Captain," She added quickly. "The children tell me you're to be married."

"Thank you my dear," answered the Baroness dryly. The conversation felt more and more unbearable to her. Needing to escape as fast as possible, she almost ran but the Captain's voice held her back as she was about to leave through the doorway.

"You are back to, uh, stay?"

She turned around very slowly, with her eyes fixated onto his, she said, "Only until arrangements can be made for another governess."

With that, she ran and slipped away.

 ** _Author's Note : _****Finally, another chapter! I appreciate every review, even the negative ones; they make me improve.**

 **I'm trying my best to upload soon, and I hope you liked this chapter. This story is following canon for now, but it might change…**


	3. Changing

Air. She needed air.

Maria was breathless when she finally entered her governess room. Frustrated as she had ever been, she precipitately closed the door and found herself in an atmosphere as suffocating as if she were in the very centre of a desert. Trying to regain her breath after the crazy race she had undertaken on the stairs, she collapsed against the door and shut her eyes, breathing deeply, forbidding herself to let fall the tears which were progressively forming in her eyes. The fact that she was in a quite similar situation only a couple of hours ago, when Sister Margaretta had told her that the Reverend Mother wanted to see her, was unbelievable. Only at this moment, she was feeling empty inside, devoid of all feeling, and now her mind was waltzing in all directions that she couldn't think straight. It felt like it had been years since the morning where she'd woken up in a bedroom at the Abbey, thinking she would be dedicating her life to God. Now that she thought about it, an alarm had sounded in her head as she realised her plan was not feasible. What would become of her? She couldn't stay at the villa, this was for sure, and anyway, she felt incapable of this. Incapable of watching Georg blossoming with another woman while pretending nothing was happening. Wait, why had she thought about him as Georg? _Georg is not even an option,_ she thought, annoyed with herself: it was the Captain, her employer, and that was it. Wrecked from the inside, she thought back about what she could possibly do when he would have found another governess. But she couldn't see any opportunity: she had never planned on anything for her future as she was always supposed to become a nun. Tottering, she got closer to her bed and didn't even take the trouble to pick her bag and guitar up, which Frederich had undoubtly kindly dropped off earlier. Regaining her composure, she decided she needed to get ready for dinner. She strictly hadn't any envy to do so but she knew she had to get out of this dark mood in order to look contented; this would avoid the children asking any questions. Slowly, she went to the cupboard and opened it with a trembling hand. She absent-mindedly brushed her fingers on the few dresses she had left, but a very particular silky and thin fabric made her stop dead. Feverishly, she took out the blue dress, which was secretly her most beautiful possession, and lay it down onto her bed. She stared at it for a moment as the memories were jostling in her head.

 _When the Captain couldn't take his eyes off you._

She quickly dismissed the thought by shaking her head. No, she would not let the Baroness push her even deeper. As she was still gazing at the dress, there was a knock on the door.

"Come in!" She said, clearing her throat.

Liesl's head appeared through the half-opened door before she came in the room, a kind smile stuck to her pretty face.

"Is everything alright, Fräulein Maria?" She asked gently. "I wanted to check on you before dinner."

"Yes Liesl, I'm fine, thank you." She answered, smiling to her.

"Are you sure? You didn't look very well on the terrace." She said, throwing her a curious look.

Maria perfectly knew what Liesl was insinuating; she was very insightful, but Maria couldn't tell her the reasons of her sudden sadness. Smiling even more brightly, she told her:

"Yes, I am fine, I just think I've been a bit shaken up by the announcement of your Father's wedding. I've been away for two weeks and as soon as I'm back, I am being told that you won't need me anymore, so it's a bit… perplexing."

Although she could tell that she wanted to add something, Liesl didn't insist. Automatically, she grabbed the blue dress to put it away in the cupboard, but Liesl stopped her.

"Fräulein! Why not wearing this ever so pretty dress for dinner instead of putting it away?"

Maria froze. She couldn't wear this dress, this would be pure provocation towards the Baroness, and although her feelings towards her weren't the sweetest ones, she owed her respect. Whether her words the night of the party had been true or not, she couldn't allow herself to make an appearance in this dress.

'Liesl, it really is kind from you, but I prefer not wearing it tonight. Maybe another time? I'd like to wear something simpler, but I'd love you to help me to choose."

Looking slightly disappointed but still happy that she had been assigned a task, Liesl joined Maria next to the cupboard where she had just put away the blue dress. Maria watched as Liesl was looking at the dresses which hung there and took out one that Maria had worn maybe two or three times. It was a soft summer dress, very slightly pink with a length that was above her knees. The sleeves were short and basic and the cleavage level with her neck, but when she was wearing it, her thin waist was very beautifully marked. It was a very pretty dress indeed.

"Hold on, this one is gorgeous, it's such a shame you've worn it so little."

"I rarely pay any attention to what I wear." Maria answered vaguely, an answer which was completely true.

"Very well," said Liesl without deliberation, "Now you can wear it. Go to the bathroom, I'm waiting for you here. It is ravishingly beautiful and I'm sure you will look breath-taking."

"Liesl, you are adorable, but I don't feel like wearing it either," she protested.

"No discussion, Fräulein!" Liesl interrupted. "This dress has nothing more than the other ones." Maria knew she was lying, but she couldn't tell why Liesl wanted her to look pretty tonight. "It feels like you don't want to make yourself pretty…" She added, suspiciously narrowing her beautiful blue eyes.

"It's not that, only I wish I didn't have to draw any attention on me!" Maria defended. However, in front of Liesl's destructing looks, she surrendered. "All right, I'll wear it." She sighed as Liesl's face was softening. She limply made her way to the bathroom, the dress under her arm, and for once, she would be on time for dinner.

Arriving with Liesl in the dining room, she was surprised to note that the Captain and the Baroness weren't seated yet. Max, whom she hadn't seen when she had arrived at the villa, greeted her warmly, making her feel better. She loved Max, who was such a joyful person he could make anyone smile in a minute, well except maybe the Captain. Maria was barely seated when the Captain busted into the room, changed into a simple but very dark blue, classy suit. His entrance made Maria feel very uneasy: she shifted uncomfortably in her chair, ignoring the sudden headache which had overtaken her.

"Good evening children, Max." He said with a smile as he was sitting on his chair, facing Maria who was at the opposite of the table. When he raised his eyes, his look froze for a second as he made eye contact with her, but quickly regained his composure.

"Oh, good evening, Fräulein. I have to admit that I am surprised to see you so… early."

The teasing tone in the way he had said it didn't escape from Maria, but in spite of her good willing, she couldn't laugh. Instead, she forced a polite smile, then lowered her eyes, suddenly occupied by a passionate interest in her plate full a food. The silence was thankfully broken by the entrance of the Baroness. Every head turned to see her, and for good reason: she looked astounding in her long, red, fluid bustier dress. Her shoulders were covered up with a red transparent shawl with black glitters: she was breath-taking. Maria quickly felt small, as if she were squashed by the beauty of the Baroness' outfit comparing hers. _This is not a competition! She owes you nothing!_ She quickly rectified.

"Oh, I see that I am late. I beseech you to forgive me." The Baroness said, looking falsely awkward, wearing a satisfied smile which showed she had obtained the desired effect by this very noticeable entrance. She theatrically sat next to the Captain, under the eyes of the speechless audience, and she gave him a charming smile and covered his hand with her own.

"Elsa, dear, you look divine tonight!" Max complimented her sincerely.

"I do thank you my dear Max." She said casually as she was taking her glass of wine.

"Oh please, can we start eating?" Pleaded Kurt who seemed to be in agony.

"If you really can't wait, then you can say grace." Offered the Captain.

"Very well." He answered with a sigh. They all clasped their hands and bowed their heads slightly. "Thank you Lord for this meal and for the ones who cooked it. Thank you for Fräulein Maria, I hope she never leaves us again. Amen."

Maria's eyes shot open at Kurt's mention. A wave of culpability went across her, it seemed impossible for her to tell the children about her imminent departure, not now that she had been reunited with them. Without really knowing why, she risked a glance to the Captain who was already gazing at her. For a brief instant, she thought she saw a demand in his eyes, but the lighting was already gone. Embarrassed, she broke the contact.

"Amen." They all said. The noise of forks scratching against the porcelain set resounded in the room, and the conversations started to merge around the table.

The dinner felt interminable to Maria; for her who usually loved food and chatting with the children, she was describing slow circles around her plate with her fork, without eating anything, and didn't take part in any conversation either. The background noise was giving her a headache, and the children were no help: they were discussing the next picnic they wanted to go on, which was a chore to poor Maria who really couldn't picture herself gambolling in the green grass, singing at the top of her lungs like they used to do.

"When will we be able to go, Fräulein Maria?" Marta asked shyly.

"Oh, I don't know yet sweetheart, but I don't think it will be soon. It all depends on your studies, the weather-"

"But Fräulein, it's still warm outside and we are scholarly up to date!" Kurt protested, visibly upset.

Completely at a loss, Maria was about the answer when another masculine voice rose from the opposite of the table.

"If your Fraulein said _no_ , then it's _no_ , Kurt. Another day, when you will have the occasion to do so."

The seven children looked at their father and Kurt fell on his back, arms crossed, mumbling something like it was unfair. Maria, her cheeks pink with embarrassment that her employer had just done what was supposed to be her _work_ , mouthed a small "thank you". He looked at her reassuringly and gave her a knowing smile before resuming his conversation with the Baroness. Maria was discretely observing them: could he really love her? Their conversation looked so formal, so lacking of sincerity, unlike all the conversations she could have had with him. Theirs were so animated, teasing even, but she liked them like this, and it was for this man she had growing feelings, not for the aristocrat with the cold and impenetrable façade. Realising she had been staring she averted her eyes, hoping as hard as she could that no one had noticed her.

When the dinner finally came to an end, she embarked on the difficult task of putting the children to bed; they were so excited she had come back! After an umpteenth story read to Marta and Gretl, she carefully closed the door of the nursery, still paying attention to the little one's deep breaths. Seeing nothing abnormal, she smiled to herself and decided to go get ready for bed. But when she reached the door of her bedroom, she didn't feel like sleeping, knowing perfectly that sleep wouldn't take her. She decided to go on a night walk in the park instead.

The warm air of this August night was brushing against her dress whose fabric was softly moving about. Her hands behind her back, she was dreamily strolling on the landing, all sorts of memories splashing back as she let the serenity of the scenery envelop her. Some memories were random, such as every time the children and she had played here, or when they had a paper boats race on the lake. But some others were more intense, like the argument she had with the Captain when he had come back from Vienna, or this afternoon, when she had come back from the Abbey. Thinking about her return made a wave of negativity rise in her, invading her body and mind, rapidly making the place suffocating. Throwing a last sad glance to the landing, she continued ambling around, without caring where she was going, until she reached the gazebo, where she decided to stop.

She stared at it for a few seconds, lost in her thoughts. It was bathed in moonlight, and Maria remembered what Liesl had told her about the way she had been kissed by Rolfe, and somewhere inside her, she hoped that one day she too would feel deeply loved by someone. The only thing was that the only person whose love she craved was out of her range. Thinking hard, she sat on the stone bench and leaned over, her hands joined as she was trying to sort out the erupting volcano formed by her thoughts. How could have she thought for a second that the Captain might have feelings for her? Her, the mountain girl, the insolent and naïve postulant, _the governess of his children for Heaven's sake_!

She thought back bitterly about the humiliation she had suffered from the Baroness the night of the party. She had dared put a word on her confused feelings, she had invaded her space, had pushed her to escape! If she hadn't come in her bedroom that night, if she hadn't twisted her round her little finger like she did, Maria would have never left, and none of that mess would have happened!

And then, suddenly, Maria became aware, or rather admitted with amazement that it wasn't the Baroness she was mad at, but herself. The Baroness was nothing more than an excuse she used to tidily avoid having to confront herself, and that was why she had accused her of her unhappiness, while it was never her fault. But now that she had come back, now that the masks had fallen, she could tell herself: she was well aware of her feelings for Georg – _the Captain!_ \- even before the party. When she had realised it, she didn't know, but it wasn't before flying away that she had admitted it to herself. The Baroness was a shield, a reflection of herself onto the one she was throwing her frustration, her repressed feelings. On one hand, she was annoyed with her for her intrusion, but what could she truly reproach her for? For wanting to save her couple?

Maria wasn't jealous, far from it, she had no reason to envy the Baroness when she saw the artificial life she was leading, and a part of her felt sorry for Elsa Schraeder. Oh yes perhaps, the only thing she could be jealous of was that, between the two of them, it was her Georg would marry. Yet this didn't surprise her that much in the end, it was the natural order of things, it was what was supposed to happen-

"Hello."

She abruptly straightened up at the sound of the unmistakable voice which had very suddenly cut off her thoughts. She watched in dismay as the Captain was staring at her while standing merely a few meters away. How long had he been there observing her, lurking in the shadows?

"I- I thought I might find you here." He said, gesturing with his fingers the very place they were at. Maria remained as quiet as a grave, then slowly got up, distractedly twisting her hands while gazing curiously at him.

"Was there something you needed?"

"Mmmh?" He hummed, raising his eyes to her, as if she had suddenly taken him out of his reverie. "No, no, no, no." He added hastily, as for reassuring her. "Sit down. Please." He offered her. "Please." He added as she wasn't moving. Maria sat, without leaving his eyes, as he was slowly making his way to the opposite side of the bench. He stayed up for a few seconds, watching straight in front of him, then he turned his eyes to hers.

"Uh, may I?" Maria didn't give him an answer, so he sat down and joined his hands, still watching straight in front of him. An awfully awkward silence had appeared, then his eyes found hers again, and he gave her a smile, simply looking at her with his eyes as beautiful as the ocean. Still disconcerted, it was the very first time in her life she found herself at a loss for words. A little more flustered, she looked away, and stared at her hands. The silence was broken up by his chuckles.

"You know, I was- I was thinking and I was wondering two things: Why did you run away to the abbey, and… what was it that made you come back?"

Was she mistaken or was it nervousness she could spot in his usually so tranquil, firm voice?

"Well, I had an obligation to fulfil…" _Great start,_ she told herself with sarcasm. "…and I came back to fulfil it." Ah! She had succeeded in circumventing his question and remaining honest. But he apparently wasn't ready to let go of it just yet.

"Hmmm…" He hummed again, without being truly convinced. "Is that all?"

"Yes. And I missed the children…"

"Only the children?" He asked very quickly.

"No…" She said, half-whispering. "Yes!" She suddenly exclaimed, more loudly, aware of her error. She looked straight into his eyes. "Isn't it right I should have missed them?" Her tone was almost defiant now, suspicious.

"Oh yes! Yes, of course." He answered, a bit on the defensive. "I was only hoping that perhaps you..." He made a pause, visibly struggling finding his words. "Perhaps you might, uh…" _Perhaps you might what?_ Maria was burning to hear what he had to tell her. She sought for his eyes and gave him an encouragement:

"Yes?"

"Well, uh…" He looked at her, and suddenly gained some confidence back, before staring at his hands again. "Nothing was the same when you were away… and it'll be all wrong again when you leave. And I just thought that perhaps you might, uh," He raised his eyes to her, almost pleading, and asked, as incredible as it can sound, shyly. "Change your mind?"

Woah. She certainly not expected this. Suddenly remembering the current situation, she stood up, and heard herself saying in a colder voice than she would have wanted:

"I'm sure the Baroness will be able to make things fine for you." She started to walk away, feeling one more time the need to slip away from him, from her feelings.

"Maria."

Her name had rolled off his tongue so naturally that she stopped dead in her tracks, her breath catching.

"I mean, uh, Fräulein Maria." He rapidly corrected, standing up too.

"There isn't going to be any Baroness." He had said this clearly, slowly, gently even, but she had heard the firmness in his tone. She couldn't understand anymore: what did he mean?

"There isn't?" She asked, seeking for a confirmation in his voice, her gaze still upon her hands.

"No." He answered, now standing next to her.

"I don't understand," she breathed, confused.

"Well, we've, um, called off our engagement, you see, and–"

"Oh, I'm sorry." She stated, a bit evasive. She had to admit she was kind of confused.

"You are?" He said, as if he were surprised.

"Of course I am!" She turned her head towards him. "All I wished was to see a mother for the children, and I am sorry for you, Captain."

And she truly was. Sorry for him, sorry he found himself alone, without the Baroness for the one he seemed to really care about since he had proposed her.

"Oh, this is nothing Fräulein," He said, surprisingly chuckling, "I thank you for your concern but Elsa was definitely not the right person for me." He gazed at her with the same indescribable look again. "So, perhaps you could stay so I wouldn't have to call for a thirteenth governess?"

In spite the hint of humour in his eyes, she could see something else. He was pleading again, begging her to stay. For an instant, time froze between them. The look they shared, so intense, so strong, so powerful, made Maria burn up inside. Incoherent thoughts came across her as she was getting lost in the depth of his dark, blue eyes, she felt so good, so safe. The tension was electric: her breath caught again, she was unable to think, feeling her knees weakening as he slowly took a step towards her. He moved even closer, dangerously close, so close that she could feel his warmth, feel his breath, smell his masculine scent, such a delicious scent that she wanted nothing more than to bury her nose in his soft neck, in his dark hair, and breathing his scent endlessly, while he had his hands on her, whispering to her, caressing her, kissing her…

"I- I'll think about it…" She finally whispered, out of breath, without releasing herself from his look, finally breathing. And then, she took a step back and forced herself to look away from him, and said regaining her posture:

"I'll stay. For them. For the children." She threw another look to the Captain. "It's agreed. I'll take my charges back from tomorrow. Good night, Captain."

She had said these words resolutely, speaking more to herself than to him; she was still under the heat she had felt only seconds ago, which stopped her from thinking clearly. She had tried to use the children as her only reason to agree to his proposition, knowing that she would stay for him as well, if not only for him. She didn't give him the chance to say a word, instead giving him a weak smile before, in a frustrated move, turning on her heels and going back to the villa, leaving him standing there alone, puzzled.

 ** _Author's Note_** **: I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I know it hasn't been very funny and it has been actually quite boring as I've been following canon until now, but it's changing!**

 **I'd love to hear your thoughts on this chapter (or perhaps this story). Reviews always make my day!**


	4. Gone

The lake along the edge of the von Trapp villa reflected the sun rays' brightness that was beating down on this wonderful day. Summer holidays were slowly coming to an end and the breeze which was gently blowing was getting chillier every day, keeping the place tranquil. However, the calm prevailing over the property was abruptly interrupted by a young girl's wailing.

"Do we really have to keep on _working_ , Fräulein Maria? I feel like it's been hours that we've to go over and over this stupid French Revolution!" Complained Louisa, for whom learning dates by heart was hell.

"Louisa, you would do well to watch over your vocabulary!" Maria reproached, giving her a disapproving look.

"Yes, all the more the French Revolution is a fascinating moment of History which freed the French people and instituted a wider open-mindedness!" Approved Brigitta who had come supporting her governess.

"Oh you," Louisa squealed, "How annoying you are with your know-it-all airs!"

"Really? Let me tell you that-

"Young ladies, I think we are quite finished now!" Exclaimed Maria, whose patience was slowly beginning to slip away from her.

As the beginning of school made its way closer and closer, keeping seven children, with more than ten years difference between the eldest and the youngest, focused during classes had become a real nightmare. Maria tried even so to do her best, but it seemed that in addition to her current predicament, the children had been less diligent in their lessons while she was away, making the task even harder than it originally was.

It had only been four days since she had come back, and she felt endlessly lighter and happier. It was true that the Baroness' departure had heartened her, but still, she didn't feel a change in her relationship regarding the Captain. They were dancing a continuous tango; when she was taking a step forward, he was taking one backward, and vice versa, and so on. It was dishonest to project the fault on him alone, she had told herself, because she admitted that it was hard for her to act fully natural and relaxed when he was around. Except from her doubts and sudden inability to think correctly when they were in the same room, she had with the deepest joy and pleasure reuniting with the children with whom, happily, nothing had changed. Not counting their motivation when it came to schoolwork.

Today was particularly difficult, however, because during such heavy History lessons, Maria had to explain in two different ways in order to suit the little ones and the older ones. To make the session more pleasant, Maria had decided to take them to the park where the weather was delightful. Alas! The poor dears only thoughts were about running and playing. Maria made a mental note to never repeat this experience again.

"Alright children, I think this is enough for today." She sighed in defeat, looking at their faces glowing in delight.

"Yes!"

Her seven charges hurried into the villa in order to put away their school stationary. Maria barely had the time to breathe before they were already back, hopping excitedly and screaming in an incomprehensible hubbub.

"Children… children…" Maria was desperately trying to get them focusing on her, which felt like a failed enterprise; they were now yelling at each other because none of them wanted to play the same game.

"Children… Please!"

She had assuredly elevated her tone, yet without becoming bothersome, though her patience was really declining faster and faster. Numerous reasons could explain this sudden loss of control, but the most obvious of them was the cruel lack of sleep she was suffering from. Nights since the Abbey had been short, but when she was in seclusion, she was calmly in her bedroom or at the church, whereas at the villa, she was busy with the children all day. This having been said, she liked being here with them way better and spending good days in their company: they were a ray of sunshine bringing her joy and making her forget about the Captain. Although he had remained quite cordial towards her, they practically hadn't had any conversations since she'd returned.

When she looked back at the night of her return, she knew she couldn't blame him. Those thoughts made her feel her heart sink slightly in her chest. She had acted so coldly towards him, and had left him completely taken aback, standing there near the gazebo all alone. But she had felt so confused with the look they had shared just seconds before! The intensity of his burning eyes had made her lose her voice. She had been caught off guard, and she couldn't explain _why_ but she was lost in his eyes again, and had wanted to kiss him, but an invisible force had compelled her to step away from him. It would have felt so wrong, she had come back to find out he was engaged and only hours later he was telling her he wasn't anymore! Oh, she was really overthinking. After all, nothing had happened again after this incident, and she had come to the conclusion that nothing ever would.

She went back to reality when she became aware of the silence which had fallen between the children and discovered seven intrigued heads turned to her.

"Well, I thought we could play some music since sadly we had to curtail your lesson. What would you say about that?"

"Oh yes, Fräulein Maria!" They joyfully cried out, acquiescing vigorously, happy to finally be able to sing, something they didn't have the occasion to do since their governess had come back.

"Perfect, just let me go get my guitar and I'll be here in barely-

"Can we ask Father to come and sing with us?"

Everyone turned their attention to little Gretl who had raised the question. The children exchanged silent yet worried looks, and Maria felt the discomfort of the situation too.

"You know Gretl, I don't think Father really wishes to sing with us today," Liesl said gently, having devoted herself to breaking the silence.

"But he doesn't play with us anymore!" Protested Gretl, "He doesn't visit us during our lessons and he doesn't come to play games with us on afternoons! It feels like he doesn't love us anymore!"

"Oh, Gretl, honey, of course your father loves you!" Maria exclaimed, taking the little girl's hands in her owns before addressing her brothers and sisters as well. "Don't worry, I can assure you that everything will turn out fine, he just might be immersed in his work, but I'm sure he will play with you again soon!"

"But I am scared he would become the way he was before again!" Chirped Gretl, whose voice was now trembling.

"No Gretl," Brigitta interrupted, "Father is still kind with us, he is simply busy. But as Fräulein Maria said, it is only a matter of time, you'll see he'll come back to us quickly."

Gretl nodded vigorously, restraining a hiccup as small tears were rolling down her chubby cheeks. Maria's heart broke at the sight of the little girl's sorrow; she hated seeing any of the children sad.

However, she could understand their dismay; after all these years spent being ignored and underestimated by their father, it didn't surprise her they were concerned at a minor deviation from him. She too had noticed that the Captain was more distant; and it had started the day following her return.

From breakfast, he had quietly sat down in his seat and with a croaky voice, had greeted the children, Max and her, before clearing his throat and being served a cup of tea by one of the housemaids. Maria observed him curiously as he was pouring a dash of milk in her cup; he had the face of someone who hadn't had a good night of sleep. Hair slightly less well combed than usual, and circles under his eyes a bit more dug in than the preceding day.

"Father?"

He was absent-mindedly stirring his beverage with a teaspoon when his head shot up at Brigitta's intervention. "Yes, sweetheart?"

"Why isn't the Baroness with us this morning?"

Maria choked on her own tea as quietly as possible as the Captain found himself rooted to the spot. An imposing silence had fallen over the table as everyone was hanging on his words.

"The Baroness… Ah, Elsa." He muttered under his breath, talking to himself though it didn't slip away from Maria. He breathed a deep sigh and then knocked on the table with the palms of his hands before raising his head to notice the nine pairs of eyes which were upon him. Of course, Maria and Max were cognizant of what had happened, but the Captain's attitude was very intriguing.

"Well," He started, clearing his throat again, "We had a discussion yesterday and we decided that… uh… we wouldn't marry each other. She returned to Vienna this morning."

This statement was followed by a silence reuniting astonishment and unspoken joy. The children were indeed happy about it; they respected the Baroness yes, but had never been able to picture her as their mother at all. All of them were trying to hide the relief from their faces and put compassionate façades for their father instead.

"This means we won't have a new mother anymore?" Inquired Gretl, for the one the whole situation was becoming more confused.

"No," the Captain cleared, "But you still have Fräulein Maria to take care of you."

He offered Maria a charming smile, and for the first time that day, they met each other's eyes. Almost instantly, her mind became foggy as his look was devouring her again, but she quickly looked away.

"I… Yes, of course I will remain your governess." She smiled at the children, although well aware that the Captain was still staring at her with the same intense look.

"Fräulein? Is everything alright?"

Maria was once again brought back to earth as Liesl gently touched her arm. The seven von Trapp were curiously scrutinising her, suddenly worried by the empty look their governess had displayed, sinking into a mortifying silence. They had noticed that since she had been back, their Fräulein was a bit distracted and even though she had kept her contagious _joie-de-vivre,_ she would get lost in her thoughts or unexpectedly have a sad look on her face more and more often.

"Yes children, oh please forgive me but I have a persistent headache since this morning, I am afraid it stops me from remaining focused." Smiling, she clasped her hands together. "I believe it's preferable you refresh yourselves before lunch in the end, I fear we don't have enough time to sing… But I promise you to make this up as soon as we have some time!" She added hastily, seeing their faces falling in front of her.

As the children made their way towards the villa to accomplish what Maria had asked them, the eldest approached her.

"Fräulein, you look exhausted today… If you want, I can watch over and take care of my siblings this afternoon while you would calmly rest and maybe get some sleep?"

Maria raised her surprised eyebrows at this unexpected statement and gave Liesl a grateful look. Oh, she was so proud of her. She was becoming a responsible and very charming young lady, who had almost become a maternal figure for the younger ones.

"Thank you very much Liesl, I think this would really be good for me," she admitted. "Are you sure you don't mind?"

"If I offered you, it means it's completely fine for me."

"All right, I'll just have to ask your father if it's okay for him."

"Oh, don't worry about Father," Liesl reassured her. "I am convinced he doesn't mind, we are only going to play in the park without making too much noise."

Maria felt slightly uneasy as she thought about asking the Captain if she could have an afternoon for herself: after all, she had never requested a day off, and she decided he wouldn't blame her if she slept an hour or two. Moreover, it was Liesl who had offered her, and she perfectly knew well she could trust her.

"You truly are adorable." Maria smiled warmly at her.

The two women lined their arms and joyfully joined the others inside the house.

* * *

Georg von Trapp was a man of control, but he monumentally failed to hold his fury back at the moment. He sardonically threw the magazine Max had apprehensively handed him after lunch and then sagged in the back of his chair, hands joined as for concentrating on his rage, throwing a leer to the cover.

A picture of Elsa and him was featuring on the front with a huge title: "The Naval hero of Salzburg doesn't achieve holding his new bride-to-be back." He had barely taken the time to read the four pages article consecrated to him, summarizing his years in the Navy and how he had been decorated by the Emperor, then the way everybody thought he had found love again on the arm of the "distinguished and graceful Elsa Schraeder", before Salzburg and Vienna were astonished to hear they had unexpectedly called their engagements off. Georg unconsciously estimated himself happy and felt relieved this bloody journalist had mentioned either Agathe's name or his children, which felt like a miracle regarding the context.

In the first place, he had a smirked when he had seen Max holding this silly magazine and wondered why on earth he had purchased it. The grin on his face faded away when he'd noticed how unamused he had looked, which was very, _very_ uncommon when it came to his impossible friend. When Max handed him the article in question, he had completely lost any sense of composure and felt his blood boiling inwardly. Max had hurriedly explained it was in front at the newsagent and that he had judged it better he be the one to let him know about it. Furious, Georg had muttered a dry "thank you" and flew to his study, safely locked behind its doors.

Elsa was undeniably distinguished and graceful, as the article had said, but as much as he appreciated her, he could have never spent the rest of his life with her by his side, and even less when he wanted someone else to fulfil this role –a certain person he hadn't been able to take out of his mind for weeks now.

But at the moment, he was way too angry to think about it; he couldn't figure out why the press was finding any interest in not only his private life, but even more so some trivial gossip. Especially when the Austria he used to know, the country he had devoted himself to and served for, was disappearing over time and politically at the precipice.

It was a picture of Elsa and himself that had been taken at the "grand and glorious party" which was acting as the cover of this rag, he suddenly and sorely realized. This evening had turned into a fiasco for him: in the first place, he hated parties and secondly, he had caused Maria to run away, and she had left without a word, only leaving a small note written in a hurry.

Maria. The simple act of thinking about her was enough to ease him as he let his hands loosen their hold and his muscles relax.

The cheeky and insolent governess who had come into his life not two months prior had changed many things and had given true meaning back to his life, a true reason, something worth living and fighting for. She had been a glorious light to his darkest days, she had reunited a family torn apart, _his_ family.

He knew he had started to feel more than simple gratitude towards her, she had completely captivated him with her big blue eyes and her explosive and yet incredibly sweet personality at the same time. And before he could comprehend whatever it was, he had seen himself hopelessly falling for her.

Although he had found himself attracted to her as a magnet weeks before, it was the night of the party he had realized it, when he'd held her as they had danced the Laendler. He had found himself unable to tear his look from hers. She had stared at him so wholeheartedly, so sincerely, so passionately that he had found himself dumbfounded. He understood then that nothing could ever take the place she had in his heart.

Only she didn't seem to share his feelings. Yet, he had been sure to spot feelings of love and even desire in her eyes when they had danced. He had seen the hurt in her gaze when she had stood on the landing four days ago, and again this hopeful feeling when he had asked her to stay. In fact, he had believed he would kiss her, he was about to kiss her but she had stepped away from him, this very same evening, near the gazebo.

Why had she stepped away? Why did things have to be so complicated? And yet, there wasn't Elsa anymore, he was free, free to love, but how can you love someone who doesn't love you in return?

He rubbed his eyes and looked around. One more time, he had locked himself away in his study, his own private sanctuary, the place whose purpose had become a refuge in the past days, because incapable of understanding Maria, he had tried to drown himself in his work but was unsuccessful. He'd tried to avoid her, give her some time, some space in the hope that one day she would come back to him and she would realize she loved him too, if only she could love him, if only he could deserve–

 _Knock knock._ Maybe it was her, he told himself, hastily gathering his work papers as he took care to cover the damned magazine up with them. It was strange, he thought, dinner would be served soon, and she never knocked at the door of his study; they were always meeting in the sitting room when she came to discuss the children at nights, though she hadn't met him since she had been back. He noticed she seemed fatigued at lunch, well, he had noticed it even from the day she had come back, but Liesl had kindly informed him that Maria was having an afternoon off to rest while she would take care of her brothers and sisters. It didn't alarm him; she should be allowed to sleep sometimes!

"Come in!" He announced, straightening on his chair.

What happened was beyond everything he could have imagined: a breathless Frederich and a rather panicked Louisa busted in the room and approached his desk almost running, and he was now very alarmed.

"Father, Fräulein Maria is gone!" His eldest son cried out.

Completely flabbergasted, he repeated:

"Gone? What do you mean by _gone_?"

"Gone: she left the house!" Louisa nearly screamed as she became impatient. "We went to check on her in her room, she was nowhere in sight and her bed made, we've been looking for her for half an hour, without any results! She is gone!"

 **Author's** **note:** **Well, I apologize for the delay but I struggled so much with this chapter! (In case you hadn't noticed yet.)**

 **I would really love to hear your thoughts on this chapter as I am not very confident about this story. Writing is a pleasure, but I don't know if it's really worth it after all... Constructive critics are as welcome as simple thoughts or encouragements!**

 **Thank you to everyone who has reviewed/followed/favourited this story, it means a lot to me.**


	5. Because Of You

The light was becoming a more intense shade of orange as the sun was setting behind the mountain of Untersberg, projecting a golden curtain on the hill. The wind was blowing wildly, folding the long strands of grass, in the middle of which a small silhouette was distinguishable. Laid, arms in a cross, was Maria, staring widely at the clouds made pink by twilight which were scrolling in front of her.

She had woken up in a gasp in her bed at the villa, impatiently wiggling in her bed sheets as the pictures of the still fresh nightmare she had just had were shaking up in her mind. Since she had left the Abbey, her recurrent dream had faded away, replaced by dark and troubling nights, from whom she was waking up disoriented and lost.

This afternoon had been different though, she had been so tired that she had instantly plunged into a profound sleep, animated by scenes where Georg was dancing on the arm of a tall, unknown blonde, where she was unsuccessfully yelling at him she loved him, but he would keep on endlessly spinning around, completely ignoring her, pretending she was not there, she didn't exist, until the unknown woman kissed him and the couple drowned in the thick crowd of guests wearing extravagant attires, gracefully twirling on the dancefloor…

The dream had unsettled her so much that she had been unable to define where she was for the five subsequent minutes. After long moments of confusion, she had found herself in the bathroom, running a hot bath for herself in order to get the tension occupying her whole body down.

However, the steam emerging from the boiling water had the exact opposite of the initially desired effect. She could feel her head spinning around even harder, with flashes banging her brain full of images of her intoxicating dream. Weakly, she strained her way out of the bathtub and donned the dress she'd worn earlier this day and made her bed, desperately trying to chase away the fog in her head, even trying to refresh the room by opening the window.

In spite of the fresh air going back and forth, the atmosphere of her bedroom was getting more and more suffocating as unexplainable confusion was invading her, and before she could think, she had busted out of the room, breathing heavily before opening her eyes. She immediately became aware of the intimidating silence hovering over the residence, then remembered the children were playing outside and the remainder of the staff was having a break until dinner. The Captain and Max were nowhere to be seen, and considering her current state of mind, she couldn't help but let her mind be drawn to the calm and the freedom her mountain was offering. She hadn't gone back for so long as it had been a long time since she and the children had been on a picnic. And deep inside her, she felt she needed to go back, to feel the fresh air, to see the greenness of the trees again, to hear the birds singing, to feel the freedom that such a special place could offer, and to run away from the madness of the villa if only for a few minutes.

After one hour of travel time, she had finally found herself at the top of her hill, and for the first time in almost three weeks, she let herself go. Entirely. Wholeheartedly. She ran, jumped, sang, screamed with everything she had in her, letting the frustration go, breaking the silence of the spot, and collapsed onto the grass, her arms in a cross, her chest rising and falling heavily, but her mind somehow clearer.

"God, what have I done to get here?" She said in a whisper, still trying to recover from the exhausting physical and emotional race she had just done.

This small improvised excursion had made her feel a thousand times better, giving her time to reflect, time to let go. It was always the feeling her mountain was providing her, and she smiled contently. A certain amount of time after, the orange sun was caressing her golden hair under twilight. Days had definitely shortened since the beginning of summer, she thought, the sun was setting around eight now.

Suddenly, she arose, completely distraught. Eight?! Surely it hadn't been three hours since she had got over here, had it? _Oh no, I'm in trouble_ , she thought as she hurriedly got up, strongly hoping she could be on time to catch the last train which was going down the mountain to Salzburg. She started to run as fast as she could towards the small train station which was on the other hill.

When she breathlessly arrived in front of the grand door of the von Trapp villa an hour later, she felt all the rush and panic drain away from her body, giving way to terror instead. Petrified, she stared at the handle, incapable of moving as she had just realized two things: the first one was that she was stupid. She had literally run away again, without telling anybody about her whereabouts, barely one week after her return, and she had missed dinner, causing her absence to be well noticed. But as she had forecast she was having an afternoon off, she assumed nobody had figured out she had left. The second thing was that Franz had obviously already locked the doors, leaving her all alone outside, standing there like an idiot. Sighing, she quickly listed the options she had to come in and go unnoticed before quickly figuring out there were none. Unless…

Encouraged by her idea which she judged brilliant, she carefully went around the mansion until she reached the spot where her bedroom was. How lucky she had opened the window before leaving! She thought in a triumphant way, mentally getting ready to climb the façade just like Liesl had done on her first night at the villa. Once up there, she only had to go to bed and apologize tomorrow morning at breakfast, claiming she had slept throughout dinner. Still, she recalled the climbing and thought it would be quite risky. She was used to climbing all sorts of trees, but houses! But after all, if Liesl had done it, why couldn't she? She encouraged herself before raising her eyes to the window of her bedroom. All her confidence drained from her and her half-smile was wiped away when she saw her window had been closed, which meant that not only she couldn't go in but also that someone had noticed her absence.

 _This time, I'm really in trouble,_ she told herself, swallowing heavily. It left her with only one option: in a last hope, checking if the door from behind had been closed, and then as a last resort, knocking on the door, causing herself to be discovered…

However, as she went around, something caught her attention. A huge window on the ground floor was opened, letting her see a wide, dark room from whom a thin beam of light was coming out. She couldn't figure out which room it actually was, but she thought she saw a big bookshelf: it might be the library! Someone from the staff might have let the window open to ventilate and forgot to close it, how lucky she was! Relieved, she started to put a leg over the edge, then the second one, and let herself easily slip inside the room.

* * *

"Good night, sweetheart."

Georg left a kiss on Marta's and on a sleeping Gretl's forehead before getting up, ready to leave after reading two chapters of Sleeping Beauty to his youngest daughters. It was their most beloved fairy-tale and one that Agathe had loved reading to Liesl, Louisa and Brigitta when they were younger. The thought slightly pinched Georg's heart, but brought him a peaceful memory. He couldn't exactly tell why, although he had a very clear idea, it was easier for him to think about Agathe these days, the memory of her wasn't piercing his chest anymore. He was making his way to the door when Marta's small voice held him back.

"Father, will Fräulein Maria come back?"

Slightly taken aback by the question and feeling his heart sink to his shyest daughter's disarray, he abruptly stopped before turning around and came crouching to her bedside, offering her a reassuring voice.

"I don't know Marta, but Fräulein Maria loves you, doesn't she?"

"I think she does…" The little girl answered, in an even smaller voice.

"So if she loves you, she will come back, don't worry. "

"I am scared she is gone for real…"

Georg's heart sank even deeper when he saw her eyes watering. He got a bit closer and caressed her soft cheek.

"I don't think she is gone for real. When you love someone, you always come back to this person. I am sure she'll come back soon. All right?"

"Yes, Father." She said, drying her tears and sketching a hopeful smile. "Thank you, I think I'll sleep better now."

"I'm glad, sweetheart. Have sweet dreams." He planted another kiss on her cheek, and then left the bedroom, heaving a sad sigh as soon as he had closed the door.

Trudging, he went down the stairs leading to the foyer and skulked himself to his study for the second time this day, and let himself fall carelessly back onto his chair, untightening the knot of his tie and running a frustrated hand through his hair. Groaning heavily, he remained focused on the door for a few seconds, trying to put some order in his thoughts. This woman was driving him crazy! He couldn't believe she was gone again, and even though he had meant what he had told Marta, he found it hard to think she would one day be back for good. If she came back, how long would she stay? She was so young, so carefree, she had her whole life waiting for her. And yet, he felt somewhat like she felt safe here, or was it because he wanted to protect her so much? Shaking his head frantically and rubbing his eyes, he took out of his drawer a bottle of brandy, and stared at it as he wanted to pour himself a glass, thinking deeply. Somehow, he felt responsible for her departure. He had put so much pressure on her and then neglected her these past few days that she might have gotten scared or felt like a stranger. But it was so hard to understand! Feeling the heat rising, he mechanically put the bottle of brandy back in his drawer and left his chair, opening the window wide. He let his mind wander as he pleasantly contemplated the sight of the very pretty night sky reflecting along the lake and the mountains that his study was currently offering. All of this was very strange. She had probably left a letter or some other stupid reason justifying this new sudden disappearance… Had somebody checked? Abruptly animated by a desperate curiosity, he tore his gaze from the scenery and left his study, instinctively making his way to the governess room.

As soon as he came across the door, he was invaded by the floral, delicate and wooded perfume which was hers. Instinctively, he reached for the open window and hastily closed it, giving no chance for the bewitching scent to slip away, wanted nothing more than to be holding her close as he closed his eyes, pretending she was here with him...

Suddenly remembering what he came here for, he opened his eyes and scanned the room, searching for any tiny letter or particular sign of farewell. But he couldn't spot one. Baffled, he reached for the cupboard; her hideous nightgown was hanging there, and he remembered with half-amusement, half-exasperation her first night at the villa, singing some stupid song, he had thought at the time, about her favourite things to the children. But a blue material caught his attention.

Slowly skimming his fingers upon the softness of the material, he recalled how beautiful she had looked in that dress, and how much he longed to see her wearing that exquisite dress which underlined the colour of her big, blue eyes all too well again. He quickly turned his attention away from the cupboard, closing its doors and finding himself standing all alone, puzzled. Enough inquisition, he told himself firmly, pulling himself together, and quit the room, heading to his study again.

He was even more confused than at the beginning, he thought as he was coming down the imposing marble stairs for the second time in half an hour. She hadn't packed her belongings and he hadn't checked if her carpetbag or her guitar were still there, though he hadn't seen them, as it was getting hard to bear her scent which was shrouding the whole room. Quietly, he opened the door of his study, and what he saw pinned him on the spot.

* * *

After she had slipped into the room, Maria had quickly figured out it wasn't the library, although there indeed were bookshelves on some walls.

It was an immense room she never had the occasion to visit until now, edged with some tall bookshelves, and in the near darkness of the hour, it seemed rather imposing. On a gigantic, embroidered carpet rested a dark-wooden desk, covered up with what looked like paperwork and upon which was a small lamp, the only source of light. A chair of comfortable allure was placed behind the desk while two others were placed at the opposite, ready to greet some guests. Behind the desk and against the wall stood a huge clock which indicated it was half past nine. On the opposite side, a leather sofa was installed, just next to a beautiful marble fireplace. Two big crystal chandeliers, similar to the ones in the ballroom, remained on the magnificently decorated ceiling with a fresco representing the agitated sea. That's when it hit her; she had probably stumbled into the Captain's study! Even more intrigued by the grandness of the room now she knew whose it was, she moved in front of his desk, her back to the door, and leant forward to see something under the papers which had caught her attention. It looked like a magazine, but what would the naval hero be doing with some stupid _magazine?_ Curiously, she started to take off the papers covering it, intrigued by this possession.

" _Where on Earth have you been?!_ "

Maria stopped dead in the task she had undertaken and immediately turned round. She loudly gasped as she saw the Captain furiously heading towards her, the knot of his tie loosened, his hair dishevelled, his eyes flashing, and she found herself at loss for words _again._ This man had the power to take her voice away! He looked really angry; seeing his jaw clenched, his forehead pleated with rage and his fists turned into balls, made her blood turned cold.

"I… I was… I mean…" She stammered as he had abruptly stopped a few meters away from her, glaring at her with a more destructive look than the one he had given her that day by the lake.

"I… I was gone to get some fresh air. I didn't see the time go by…" She was finally able to say in a very small and strangled voice that didn't sound like hers at all.

"Getting fresh air? Without telling anybody? Although you told the children you were getting some rest?" He snapped at her, furious. "What the devil is wrong with you for heaven's sake?!"

Guilt took over her as she felt her cheeks and the crook of her neck turning crimson.

"I thought it would go unnoticed…" She whispered, lowering her eyes as a child who was being reprimanded, which was exactly how she felt right now.

"The children were scared and desperate to know where you'd gone! The little ones were dying of sadness and worry! How dare you abandon them, putting them aside that way? Do you have even the slightest idea of what the house looked like when you ran away to the Abbey?" He spat madly at her, giving vent to his rage.

Her head shot up and suddenly she didn't feel guilty but angry, fury invading her as well when she heard his words. Surely _he_ wasn't the one telling that to _her_? Daringly, she directly looked into his stormy eyes and saw a flash of rage going through them.

"How dare I?" She incredulously tried to question him calmly, even though she could feel how cold her voice had turned. "How dare _you_! How dare you reproach me for a mistake I committed for two weeks as you yourself have repeated it over four years?" She screamed at him, her temper flying away from her.

He froze, her words hitting him as arrows in the middle of the heart. What did she know about what happened to him? How could she talk to him that way, when never in his life he had tried telling anybody, not even Max, about how he had felt when Agathe died, how it had destroyed him? He dangerously stepped forward, getting closer to her, his jaw clenching even more.

"I had lost my wife, my reason to live," He hissed, through clenched teeth, "I had lost everything that meant the most to me! I don't think you know what it is actually like to feel all alone in the world!" He ended up yelling.

"Oh, you think?" She yelled back at him, her eyes fiery intensifying and her lips trembling with rage. She stepped forward too, so close it was hard to quit his eyes and she could feel his breath becoming ragged. "Because you think I had a happy childhood? You think I had loving parents to take care of me? Why, in your opinion, is it so important for me to see you connecting with your children? Why didn't I give up on them as all the other governesses, why am I different? Maybe because I don't want them to live in the same way that I lived? Has it ever crossed your mind?"

Her eyes were sparkling with anger and she was madly glaring at him, then she swivelled so she didn't have to face him anymore. Taken aback and now guilty, anger left him as soon as it had impulsively overtaken him. What an idiot he could be sometimes! He silently cursed himself. He regretted never taking the time to discuss her childhood with her, but when he had tried, she had hastily changed the subject. Georg took another step to her, her back to him, letting himself be invaded by the floral scent again.

"I am sorry. I didn't know." He spoke softly, all the guilt in his voice.

She furiously turned back to him, and they were so close she could feel the heat of their bodies. "You still don't know." She snapped at him. "You can't imagine for a second what my life has been like," she said, her voice as glacial an iceberg, her eyes shamelessly and defiantly planted in his own.

"I wish I could fix this." He said slowly, almost pleading again as he was completely hypnotized by the firmness of her agitated blue eyes, though he didn't meet them. Instinctively, he reached for the rebellious hair strand which had slipped away from her fringe, putting it back with the rest of her hair, as he felt her trembling to his gesture, her breath catching, her shoulders relaxing. He finally dared to look into her eyes, and only saw confusion and hurt, but she was calm, and seeing she wasn't reacting, he stepped away, running his hand another time through his thick hair, trying to regain his composure, ignoring his body's reaction to so much tension and so little proximity between them.

"I think nothing or no one could ever cure everything I went through, Captain." She bravely said, looking at him with the same hurtful look.

"I am sorry to have been so hard on you." He apologized. "I was so confused and troubled by your departure that I lost control. Forgive me."

"No, it's nothing, it's my fault." She answered, breathing deeply. "You are right, it was stupid of me. I am the only one responsible. Excuse me for every hurtful thing I have told you, but you know me, I only have little hold on myself…"

They stared at each other for a long time and neither of them spoke as an awkward silence had fallen between them. Eventually, Georg cleared his throat. "It's getting late, you might have had a long day… Stop by the kitchen to eat something as you missed dinner. We could discuss all of this tomorrow if you wish." He offered.

She slowly nodded and quickly went past him as she was about to leave, but turned around before stepping out of the room.

"Goodnight, Captain." She said before disappearing behind the door.

"Goodnight… Maria." He whispered, immersed in the shadow of his study.

 **Author's note:** **Phew, that was hard to write! The timing from when she comes back to when he goes back to his study gave me some work!**

 **I wrote the description of Georg's study based on the library at the villa they filmed the rowboat accident, the party, etc… The place looked superb.**

 **I also hope I have been able to write the angst well enough! It was the first time I was trying something like this, it made me slightly nervous.**

 **I'm taking my classes back this Monday, so I probably won't upload for a week or two, time to set everything up. Until then, hope you enjoyed this chapter and aren't too bored with this story. It's been a little "depressive" until now, with a lot of thinking and worry, but hopefully, this chapter marks the start of something new!**

 **Please review with your thoughts! You know they make me the happiest and give me motivation to continue.**


	6. I Got You

Maria was greedily contemplating the apple pie with the succulent allure that was resting on the kitchen worktop and subconsciously licked her lips. The smell of it had hit her as if she had been jinxed as she was coming across the foyer, and she hadn't been able to resist the urge to make her way to the kitchen in order to discover what the origin of the smell was.

Now, she kept staring at the pie, such a golden and tasty-like pie, and she seriously wondered how it would taste. She bit her lower lip, deep in thought: she could surely wait for dinner, which would be served in half an hour, but another part of her was already starting to reach for the pie… Oh, of course not! It would immediately be noticeable if she took a bite! Fighting against herself, she was trying to resist, but it was all too tempting…

"Well, may I ask you, Fräulein, what are you doing here?"

Taken by surprise, she felt her heart jump in her chest and swivelled, only to find the Captain casually leaning against the door frame, arms and legs crossed, staring at her with a falsely severe look, betrayed by the grin on his lips. Instantly, she felt her cheeks burning with embarrassment; but also because he looked very much handsome from where she saw him.

"I only came to check if everything was in order," She started, trying to hide her embarrassment and to speak with a sure voice. "And what are _you_ doing here anyway?" She pointed accusingly at him, in front of his boyish grin that was widening.

His eyebrows shot up in surprise, but the grin on his face didn't wipe away.

"I believe, Fräulein, that this is my house, and so I'm free to wander from a room to the other without justifying myself. However, I don't recall the governess' job is to take care of the meals."

Maria felt herself blushing even more, and she could see he was having a marvellous time to play with her and embarrass her.

Since their argument two days ago, they had stopped ignoring and being so formal towards one another. Their relationship had become friendly and warm again, and the constant teasing remarks were back. The morning after that night, he had made her come to his study to try to talk calmly with her about her childhood, and she had mentioned the strict minimum. That she had been an orphan very young and that her uncle had become her tutor but wasn't the sweetest ever. She had politely refused to get into the details, and when he had seen the hurt in her eyes again, he had stopped asking questions and let her go. This was a huge mystery to him; how someone so strong, so joyful and so spirited could have been through what looked like such a hard childhood?

"What I meant to say was that I find it strange to bump into you here, at this time, whereas I've never seen you here, at this hour, before." She continued, a bit on the defensive.

"You mean to say that you often come to have an aperitif before dinner?"

He was really having a lot of fun, and this didn't escape her, but to her annoyance, he could find the exact words to make her blush even deeper.

"That's not what I meant!" She defended, "I just find it curious that we find ourselves by pure chance at the same time in a rather… improbable place."

Suddenly, all trace of teasing drained out of his face and, taking a few steps closer, he took a very serious look.

"Maybe this is not "pure chance"…" He whispered in a low voice, his eyes diving into hers.

Her breath got instantly caught in her throat: _why did he have to do that to her?_ She had tried, desperately tried not to think about him the way she did, but the teasing comments, the heated looks across the room were making the task really complicated. But she wasn't a nun-to-be anymore, what was it that was stopping her? Fear? It was probably fear, she was terrified by the way he made her _feel._ Each contact left a mark that was haunting her at nights, each look was leaving her a feeling of anticipation. But what was she anticipating for? It was all too confusing, too new to her, and somewhere, she knew it couldn't be serious, he couldn't, they couldn't… At least, that was what her brain told her, because her heart was telling her to throw herself in his arms and to tell him how much she loved him, but she knew it was impossible.

"Fräulein, finally! It's been hours since we are looking for you!"

Both of them jumped in surprise and turned around somewhat dismayed by the brutal intervention, to find Kurt dramatically wiping his forehead, as if he had just run a race, and was indifferently observing his father and his governess.

"Hours, I doubt it Kurt, but I have to admit that it took me longer than what I expected. I've been… distracted," Maria said, laughing lightly and pushing all the thoughts in her head away; she didn't really know whether she was talking of the Captain or the pie.

"Try not to do this, please." Kurt replied very seriously, "Marta and Gretl think you are gone again whenever you are a minute late."

Maria's smile fell and she felt guilt invading her. Liesl, more than the other children, had been a bit hard on her after she had come back. Telling her she felt betrayed she had abandoned them again whereas she only wanted to offer her some time to herself and to be kind. However, Maria had sincerely apologized and she had explained she didn't do it on purpose, and that time had slipped through her fingers and she hadn't meant to abuse her trust. Liesl had understood and hugged her, but yet, she was having a hard time getting used to the idea and the children were constantly afraid she would run away. Thankfully, the Captain came to her rescue.

"Hmm, I think your little sisters will quickly figure out their governess won't leave again without forecasting."

Maria threw him a grateful look, smiling slightly at him, and she thought she saw– or was it her imagination playing tricks on her– him winking at her.

"I'd better leave you and check on the little ones before dinner, to reassure them." She said hastily as she made her way out of the kitchen, quite bewildered by what had happened only seconds before.

* * *

The rest of the week went very smoothly, and the children were very happy to see their father was sometimes joining them again in their lessons and stopped spending his days locked behind the doors of his study. There was one more week to go before the children would be back at school, and since their Uncle Max was gone for what he called a "business trip" for the week, they were peculiarly sad, missing his permanently funny and delightful presence, and Maria simply wanted to distract them. One afternoon, they found themselves in the garden, and Maria was absent-mindedly playing with Marta's hair.

"Fräulein?"

Maria came out of her reverie and raised her head to Brigitta.

"What is it, Brigitta?"

"Can we play, "Capture the Flag"?"

Her siblings straightened and started to get enthusiastic and they talked excitedly to each other about Brigitta's proposition, and Maria was trying to get what they were saying, as she didn't know the game, but she found herself unable to catch a single word.

"I think that would be an amazing idea, Brigitta." Came a lower but stronger voice from behind, covering the children's din.

"Father!"

Gretl rose and threw herself at her father's arm, or she rather embraced his knees with her small arms, as he was coming closer to them. Caught by surprise at his youngest daughter's gesture, he clumsily patted the top of her head.

"Are you going to play with us, Father?" She inquired as she let go of him, but didn't step back, so she had to look up to him. Maria found the scene so endearing that her heart melt.

He threw a cautious look to Maria and smiled. "Only if your Fräulein allows it."

It was back, this dangerous smile that was making her heart skip a beat. Did he know what impact this smile had on her? Opening her mouth to say something, she decided to answer his question on the same teasing tone.

"I allow it," she said, and then tore her gaze from his to look at the children, "Only I don't know what this game is about. Brigitta, would you care to explain, please?"

"Of course," replied the little brunette as she straightened up and cleared her voice, suddenly very serious, frowning slightly. "We have to split into two teams, and as we are an uneven number, Gretl and Marta will count for one person. That's because both of your strengths put together make one, Gretl." She sighed exasperatedly as she saw her little sister's face turning into an annoyed grimace. "Each team has a flag–in our case, it won't be a flag but we'll find something else- and has to hide it in its team's territory. The goal is to run into the other's team territory, capture their flag and make it safely back to your own territory. You can catch your enemies when they are in your territory and send them to your imaginary jail, and if someone from their team succeeds in touching them, they are free. If you found the flag of the other team but were caught as you were making your way back, the other team wins. Is it alright?"

"Yes, I think I got it," answered Maria as she was ordering the information in her mind.

"I wouldn't mind lending my headscarf as a marker." Louisa stated as she took the material off her hair and gave it to Brigitta. "But we will need another one."

"I must have a handkerchief with me," mumbled the Captain as he fumbled his pants' pockets, but Maria was faster.

"I've got one!" She took out of her dress' pocket a small piece of material and handed it to Brigitta.

The teams were quickly constituted; on a side, the Captain, Kurt, Louisa, Marta and Gretl, and on the other, Maria, Liesl, Frederich and Brigitta.

"Quite honestly, we know from the outset who is going to win!" Laughed Georg.

"I advise you not to underestimated Fräulein Maria so quickly, Father." Started Frederich, "She is the fastest of us all –she runs much faster than Liesl and I do!"

"Really?" said Georg, raising a surprised eyebrow and turning his gaze to Maria who was defiantly looking at him. "Very well then, we'll see that in a few moments." He smiled at her and the two teams parted to their territories, in order to hide their markers.

Maria's team was organized as Brigitta kept an eye on the headscarf's hiding place, while Liesl and Frederich would make a diversion and Maria would go alone looking for her handkerchief. A few minutes later, the two teams were back to the middle of the playing field, and the game was launched.

Maria immediately noticed Marta and Gretl were slipping away to the place they came from, and she came to the conclusion they had been missioned to watch over the hiding place. She threw a careful look to the other side and saw that the other members of the enemy team had already left to search for her team's marker, so she took advantage of the situation to discreetly follow Marta and Gretl.

The two of them stopped near the gazebo, and Maria took care to hide behind a tree.

"It's really not fun to watch over the handkerchief", grumped Gretl, "Me, I'll sit go down on the bench. What an idea to hide it down a tree! Nobody will ever find it, this is unfair!" Maria overheard, as Marta agreed and joined her sister on the stone bench.

A tree? God, there was only that around her! It would take her so much time to find the right one and to remain undiscovered. She dropped her gaze and saw something white going beyond the leaves. Surely it wasn't… But she bent down and picked up, incredulously, her handkerchief, which had been hidden right there. Quickly, she threw a last glance to the girls, still unaware of her presence, and as quietly as possible, she made her way back to her territory, her handkerchief safely in her fist.

She tried to act natural and not to hurry so she wouldn't draw the attention on her, deciding to join her territory by circumventing the grass, in order to avoid coming across anybody and to be more secure. Half-way to her final destination, she started to relax, savouring the pre-victory of her team but her personal one too: more than winning, she would prove to the Captain and to his superior look she was well able to win!

"Going somewhere?"

For the second time this week, she startled and instinctively placed her free hand on her heart as she turned around. There he was _again_ , a few steps away from her, watching her with the same amused look he had that day in the kitchen. She quickly regained her composure and answered.

"No- I mean yes! I am looking for my handkerchief, you see."

"Oh, really?" He questioned her as he took a few steps towards her. "I've always known Marta and Gretl were awful keepers, and besides, could you explain," He turned his gaze to the hand that wasn't on her heart, "Why are you looking for your handkerchief whereas you are holding it in your hand?"

Their gazes met for a split second as both of them were raising their head, but Maria was the first to react; she turned around and undertook a crazy race to her territory, the Captain on her heels.

Frederich was right, Georg thought as he was stupidly running after Maria, she was running really, really fast. He increased his pace as she was sneaking between the trees and running through the lawn that was leading to her territory, and in an ultimate effort, he caught up with her and seized her arm. It didn't stop her though, so that forced him to grab her by the waist, but it was impossible to still her, and his leg got caught up with hers, and she unintentionally brought him with her on the grass, and he helplessly fell on top of her.

Maria couldn't help but gasp at the sensation of the Captain pressed over her, completely overwhelmed by his scent and by the sensation of his body against hers; it made her feel powerless but extremely good at the same time. She opened her eyes to see his resolutely planted in hers, and she noticed how dark they were. Very much impressed, she felt herself blushing deeply, and unable to keep the contact any longer, she turned her head. _Say something, say something…_ She thought, distraught, but then she felt the weight lifting from her body as he was relying on his elbows, and she immediately missed the sense of him against her; still dizzy from the heat that had risen within her, she hardly paid any attention to the soft sensation that went through her hand.

"And this, Fräulein, is what I call a victory." He said as he wielded the handkerchief in front of her eyes, triumphantly smiling. He got up and extended his hand to help her, but she gave him nothing but a furious look. Getting up by herself, she used the annoyance to hide her embarrassment and headed back to the children, very well aware of the Captain and his stupid amused look following her.

 _ **Author's note:**_ **I am so** **sorry it took me so long to update this very very short chapter, furthermore it's not even GREAT.**

 **I just had to catch up with school and I'm being given more and more homework, so I don't write as much as I did. Forgive me.**

 **Anyway, I'm sorry this little chapter looks like I've made it in a rush, but I swear I tried my best. I guess sweet moments aren't what I write the best... But a little transition was needed!**

 **This chapter was never planned anyway, I just wanted to give you some cute encounters. I hope you liked it, please leave me a review, they make me so happy.**


	7. Time For A Reunion

« In two _weeks!? »_

Maria stopped sharply, distraught, as Brigitta raised her eyes and looked at her through the mirror's reflexion.

"Are you a hundred percent sure about it?" She asked, her voice filled with incertitude.

"Absolutely, I'm the only person who knows by heart every date that has marked this family."

Maria sighed and kept on brushing Brigitta's hair. The von Trapp family was a large one, which meant that birthdays were happening quite frequently. However, the last one had been Marta's at the beginning of July and August had marked a period of pause, so Maria had glossed over any other birthday.

"Seventeen… I can hardly believe it. She is so young and so mature at the same time!" She sighed deeply.

"It really is a big age," Agreed Brigitta, "It's also her last year of high school… She will be free to study whatever she wants to next year." She added dreamily, her eyes drifting on their own as she looked by the window and rested her chin on her hand.

"Don't be too hasty, you've got time!" Maria laughed as she continued to braid her hair.

The children had gone back to school at the beginning of the week, and Maria's life pace had radically changed since then. Mornings were much more intense because she had to take care quite quickly of Brigitta, Marta and Gretl's hair, then she had to check if everything was alright for the others. After a rather fateful hour, Franz drove the seven of them to school and then drove them back together by the end of the afternoon, when Frederich and Liesl had finished classes. The younger ones' classes ended earlier but had to stay in school while waiting for the oldest. When Maria had asked why she couldn't at least pick Marta and Gretl up, Frau Schmidt had told her it wasn't the governess role to pick children up. Maria hadn't protested: after all, she was their governess, not their mother.

Her days were really… calmer. Empty, even. She was erring in the huge mansion, discovering new rooms every day, spotting details she had never really paid attention to before. On the second day, the Captain had surprised her as she was bent over and examining very focused a vase on a piece of furniture in the lounge.

"What an exciting activity! » He had laughed as she was blushing furiously, turning to him. "You know, Fräulein, if you were that bored, you could simply come to see me and I would find you something to do."

When he had pronounced those words, Maria had imagined herself on her knees, rubbing the foyer's floor, and the idea didn't please her at all.

"I'm not a maid!" She had protested under the panic.

The Captain had rolled his eyes but had chuckled in spite of himself.

"Why do you always have to be so dramatic? Follow me, please."

She did, and they went together across the foyer and he led her to two huge doors he pushed opened, and Maria knew this room was the library.

"Oh," she'd stated raising her eyebrows, unimpressed, "So you want me to do the dusting of the shelves and to sort out the books in the alphabetical order?"

"The shelves have already been cleaned and the books are sorted by author, century and literacy movement." He had sighed, falsely annoyed. "No, I simply wanted to tell you that you could borrow any of these books whenever you felt like doing it."

Her jaw dropped and her mouth formed a huge "O" as she stared, completely amazed, at all the books around her. Secretly, she had always hoped to have a free access to the library, but she had never dared to ask the Captain; he had made quite clear that he was attached to each volume in this room, so Maria never really ventured there.

"Alright, thank you very much." She managed to breathe, still under the choc. He chuckled and turned around, saying as he was leaving:

"You are very welcome, have a good read."

Since then, Maria had been reading a lot. Very curious by nature, she had devoured half a dozen of books in barely a week, which was, thankfully, occupying a good part of her time.

* * *

"Fräulein? Could you finish, please? I would hate to be late. »

Brigitta's voice brought Maria out of her reverie and she mumbled a quick excuse.

"What is it that is distracting you so much? You always seem to be somewhere else." She added suspiciously, narrowing her eyes and establishing an eye-contact through the mirror.

"Nothing, just fatigue I presume." Maria sighed as she finished braiding Brigitta's hair, trying to avoid her look, well aware she was narrowing her eyes even more.

As soon as the children were gone, Maria refocused on her main preoccupation: Liesl's birthday.

It was very hard to realize Liesl would be seventeen. When she thought about it though, her own seventeens weren't that far! She knew that Liesl was waiting for this birthday very impatiently, because to her, seventeen meant she officially wasn't a child anymore, even though the majority was eighteen. And obviously, Liesl wanted to celebrate.

"Come in."

Maria popped her head and then came in after knocking on the Captain's study door.

"Ah, Fräulein. » He greeted her indifferently as he remained much focused on what he was writing. "Is there anything you need? Please, take a seat."

He designated the chair in front of his desk with a quick gesture of his hand, his head still in his papers.

"In fact, yes." She awkwardly said as she sat where he had indicated her, and suddenly started to stare at her hands. "It's about Liesl's birthday."

The steady noise of the pen's scratching against the paper went immediately to an end and Maria looked up, only to find the Captain staring at her panicked, almost terrified, and her hand instantly flew to her mouth.

"Oh my God… You had forgotten." She stated as he continued to stare at her blankly, and she felt panic taking over her too.

"I haven't-

"I'm so sorry… You know, it isn't that bad, I understand you can't remember everyone's birthday-

"Fräulein… »

« -And it doesn't really matter, I didn't know either until-

"Fräulein! »

This time, Maria forced herself to look at him, and steadied herself.

"I haven't forgotten Liesl's birthday."

Maria let out a breath of relief and sank into her chair, bringing her hand to her heart.

"No, of course I haven't forgotten. I just didn't realize it would be coming so soon… Liesl was born on the twenty-second of September around six o'clock in the morning. Neither Agathe nor I had a restful night… Especially Agathe…" He added thoughtfully, staring at nothing in particular, and suddenly, Maria realized it was the very first time she heard the Captain pronouncing his late wife's name, and she was desperate to hear more about her. Although the children had already told her a few anecdotes, she wanted to know more about the woman who had stolen the Captain's heart, the woman Georg von Trapp had loved.

"Anyway, I don't think that is the current subject." He hastily cleared his throat, breaking the silence that had fallen. "So, about Liesl's birthday?"

"Oh, yes," She mentally shook herself. « This birthday is really very important to Liesl, and I thought we could arrange something to celebrate. »

The Captain rose a questioning eyebrow and kept on staring at her.

"What do you mean by, "Celebrate"?"

"That is the point. I don't know. I suppose grand and glorious parties aren't being thrown for seventeen young ladies, but I was wondering if a small reception in the presence of a few of her friends in order to introduce her to yours wouldn't be the right compromise. Nothing too extravagant, of course, but something she would like. Obviously, I don't know how all of this works, and in any way, I need your approbation and help, that's why I came to see you." She ended taking a deep breath of air after unwrapping everything she needed to say.

The Captain slowly put his pen down and raised his head to look at her. "Do you know, Fräulein, that you tend to speak very quickly when you are nervous? » He said with a smile at the corner of his mouth, which made Maria blush, again. He chuckled and shook his head, visibly amused. "I really appreciate that you are taking part in Liesl's birthday party, but the answer is no."

Maria felt herself going from embarrassment to incomprehension, and she her face fell.

"No? But Captain, Liesl isn't a child anymore, and she really deserves it after all the energy she put into taking care of her sisters and brothers during all these years! She is a young lady, not a child, do you really picture her dressed up as a fairy princess, blowing on an all pink cake's candles!?"

"No," The Captain resumes calmly as Maria tried to still herself on her chair, "But it's absolutely out of the question that I give a party to introduce Liesl to Salzburg's high society. However," he added as Maria opened her mount to protest, "We can organize a family dinner with a few family members to celebrate."

Maria couldn't help herself. "Why don't you want her to be introduced to the high society?"

He gathered his papers together and tried to bring himself to look at her. "It's too early. Most of the time, people wait for the majority to introduce their children to their friends." He sighed. "And I suppose that I'm not ready to accept the fact that she'll be a woman, but I'm convinced next year will do."

Maria remained quiet for a while, then asked slowly: "I think a family dinner would please her. Who do you think of inviting?"

"Max, naturally, he isn't actually part of the family but it's as if, and he's already here anyway. My sister Hede, I have to admit that Liesl –along with her siblings- are quite fond of her, I'm afraid my parents' presence won't be a good idea," Maria raised a surprised eyebrow but didn't dare to interrupt, "and" he took a deep breath, "Agathe's parents."

Maria stared in choc the Captain who was nervously rubbing his neck.

"How long as it been since the children haven't seen their grandparents?" Maria breathed, afraid of the answer.

"Oh, not that long. They live in England but they come approximatively once or twice to Salzburg every year, and the children always go to England a few days after Christmas to spend some time with them. However," his tone became more uncertain, "I haven't seen them since Agathe's funeral."

"What!?"

It had escaped from Maria's mouth before she could say "no" to her brain, and she immediately mentally cursed herself. Couldn't she control her tongue sometimes?! The Captain lifted his eyes to her, and she could see his sadness and discomfort, and she mentally slapped herself. What an idiot!

"Oh, I'm sorry, I can understand." She hastily said. "Another word that came from my mouth before I could think about it." She added as she laughed awkwardly.

« I perfectly understand your reaction. » He absent-mindedly answered. "Well, I believe I have some invitations to send."

He then met her gaze and smiled to her.

Maria politely gave him his smile back, and made her way out of his study.

* * *

In contrast to what Maria thought, Liesl had been overjoyed to know her family would be reunited for her birthday.

"It's been so long since I haven't seen them altogether! Oh Fräulein, could you come with Aunt Hede and me to buy the dress I'll be wearing? I want everything to be absolutely perfect!"

Maria had accepted of course. The Captain had informed her that his sister would be arriving three days before, to spend some time with her family, and that the children's grandparents would arrive the day before. He had looked very nervous- and it didn't surprise Maria that much. However, she had seen him sever and withdrawn, but never nervous. He had given all new orders to the gardeners for the park to be even more perfect; housemaids were even more active, Franz looked a thousand time more annoyed than usual, and poor Frau Schmidt didn't know where to look at anymore.

The children, too, were impatient to see their aunt and grandparents. Gretl couldn't stop changing her mind about the dress she would be wearing on D-day, Kurt wanted to show his Gumpa the improvements he had done at drawing, and Marta wanted her Grammy to see how she could dance. And every one of them was excitedly waiting for their Aunt Hede to be home, and for Max to finally come back home from his "Business Trip" that had lingered in Vienna.

Wednesday was a day Maria liked peculiarly, because the children didn't have classes on the afternoon. The Wednesday preceding Liesl's birthday, they were all playing on the terrace, when a low yet excited feminine voice unknown to Maria rose from the door.

"Look at what we've got here!"

All the children turned around and suddenly rushed to the woman standing in the doorway. She was average height, and her dark hair was lazily falling on her shoulders. She was wearing a white blouse with short sleeves, simple but very elegant, and a black straight skirt that was just below her knees. You could immediately guess she was from high society, just like her brother, but there was something in her eyes and her smile that was making her look wilder, less conform. As for now, she was muffled by the children, and she was giving each of them a hug.

"My God, my God!' She exclaimed as she lifted Marta up and put her on her hip. "What did your father give you to eat for you to grow up so quickly? I'll have a word with him about that, it should be illegal for children to be that tall! I am so happy to see you!"

"We are happy to see you too, Aunt Hede!" Screamed Gretl as she threw herself to her, and Hede wrapped her free arm around her shoulders.

Suddenly, Hede rose her head and her gaze met Maria's. She gently put Marta down and enthusiastically went to her. "You might be Maria! Fräulein Maria, the governess! Georg told me about you in his letter, he said you were great!"

"Did he?" She tried to answer in the most natural way possible, offering her the most neutral smile she could. _He really talked about her in a letter?_

"Yes, he told me something like you were a delight and that we would get along very well!" To Maria's surprise, she gave her a hug, then turned to the children again. "Oh, Frederich, could you please go and tell Franz that Liesl, your Fräulein and I will go to town in half an hour?" She turned to Maria again. "I still don't understand why Georg persists to keep this grumpy butler. He is a true nightmare!"

Maria lightly laughed to Hede's last comment: she had to admit that Franz wasn't the nicest person on Earth. "Don't you want to rest before going to town?" Maria inquired. "You might be exhausted! »

« Oh, no, no! » She dismissed the idea with a gesture of her hand. "I'm looking forward to this little sortie! Oh, not shopping, of course," She added, "I hate shopping, but how lovely to spend some time with Liesl and you! I'm going to catch up with the children before we leave. Take the occasion to rest a little while waiting!" She gave her a wink, and went away to the children who were happily chatting, and she heard once again Hede's voice:

"So, who caused my brother the most misery since last time? I'll offer her or him a pastry for dessert!"

Maria couldn't help but guffawed as the children started to shout all the mischiefs they had accomplished over the past few months. Oh yes, Hede and her would get along very well.

* * *

On Thursday morning, Maria woke up, feeling like she had had a restful and complete night, something that hadn't happened to her for a very long time. The day before had been an excellent one: they had been to town with Liesl and Hede to choose a dress for Liesl, and it had turned out that the Captain had been right: Hede and Maria got along very well. Hede was naturally funny and catchy, and Liesl and she were fond of each other: their relationship was closer to cousins than to an aunt-niece relationship. Liesl had picked up a very nice dress, of a beautiful blue that was matching her eyes. It was longer than the one she wore at the party, and definitely more for ladies than for children; it was made of a silk material, and the skin of her shoulders was slightly more revealed, so they had purchased a shawl to cover them up. Liesl had been overexcited about it, and kept thanking Maria and Hede for coming with her, and repeated over and over again how happy she felt, which really warmed Maria's heart.

Then, they went to a succulent pastry store because Hede wanted to buy a pastry to each of the children. She carefully chose, and Maria was surprised of how well she knew who might like what. There, Hede told Maria she was an artist. She told her she used to paint a lot but was now more into poetry, and liked to illustrate her poems. When she talked about her work, Maria couldn't help but noticed how eagerly she moved her hands and how animated her face grew. Liesl and she shared a few memories they had when the children were younger, and Maria found out that Hede was three years older than the Captain, though she appeared very much younger with her bright brown eyes and her lively look.

Dinner had been in a joyous mood as well. Hede and Max had known each other for as long as Georg and Max were friends, and, to the Captain's dismay, shared the same humour. The children couldn't stop laughing to the stupidities the two adults would say, and the Captain had rolled his eyes an amount of time so important that Maria had stopped counting after ten, but she knew that inside, he found it as funny as everybody else.

But still, he had looked tense, again, and Maria hadn't dared to come to see him after putting the little ones to bed, because he was in what looked like a deep and serious conversation with Hede, so she stayed a few minutes in the parlour with Max, and had then excused herself and gone to bed.

Stretching, she lowered her gaze to the small clock on the bedside table and gasped in horror. Nine?! She jumped out of bed and grabbed her robe which she donned while leaving her bedroom. How was it possible she had slept in for so long? And why no one had woken her? Maybe the children were still sleeping? She sped up, completely panicked as she reached the family wing where were the older children's bedroom, but as she turned to the corridor, he bumped into something hard.

"Oh, hello, Fräulein. »

« Captain! » Maria gasped as she tightened her robe around herself. « Oh, I'm so sorry, I don't know what happened, I didn't wake up and I only came to see if-

"Everything is alright, don't worry." He said ever so lightly so he could get her attention and she calmed down. "Hede was thrilled to take care of them this morning, and we thought you'd deserve to rest more."

Maria drew a relieved breath and relaxed. "Thank you, Captain, that is really kind of you."

An awkward silence fell between the two of them, and Maria quickly analysed the situation: why did she always have to bump into him when she was in her nightgown?

"Well, I think that-

"I'd better go and-

Both of them laughed and the Captain offered her to start.

"I'd better go and dress up." She almost whispered, her cheeks on fire.

"I have a few things left to sort out before the children's grandparents arrive." He hastily said.

She turned around and started to make her way back to her bedroom, when the Captain's voice held her back.

"And, Fräulein? »

She swivelled and scrutinized him curiously. "Yes, Captain?"

"Thank you for Liesl, but also for the whole family. I know how much it means to them. To us."

Quite humbly, Maria gave him a nod and a small smile, breathed a "You are welcome" and disappeared.

* * *

 **Author's note: Welcome back! Well, I know it's been a month since the last update and I am so sorry about that, time flies! But don't worry, I'm far away from forgetting about this story.**

 **About the chapter: it might be full of grammar and expression mistakes, but I absolutely wanted it to be posted today, so I didn't have the time to make it corrected/checked before. English isn't my first language if you've never noticed!**

 **Last thing, I wanted to post it today because it's INeverExplainAnything's birthday today, so consider it as being my gift to you! If you've never read one of her stories (which I doubt), do it! She's incredibly talented.**

 **Very last thing, don't forget to review! Tell me what you liked about this chapter, what you disliked, what you'd like to see next, what you thought about this new turn of events... Hopefully, I'll update sooner!**

 **Thank you to everyone who reviewed so far, and to the guest reviewers as well: I can't thank you personally, but you always warm my heart.**


	8. Let's Just Go Back To The Way It Was

Keeping silent, Maria simply watched as the Captain checked the children's outfits. They were in line, straight and silent, and the scenario reminded Maria strongly of the first time she'd met the children.

After they had finished dinner, Franz had gone to pick the children's grandparents at Salzburg station, and they were supposed to be back shortly. The Captain had asked the children to come down to be ready to greet their mother's parents so he could check if everything was all right and if they were presentable enough. They were all wearing their evening clothes and looking radiant, Maria thought. The Captain was wearing a beautiful and elegant suit in navy, with a sober tie, and she watched as he paced nervously in front of them, his hands clasped behind his back and his head slightly bowed.

"Oh, Georg, I beg you, _stop doing that!_ " sighed Hede, who had just joined them. "You look completely… crazy," she added, frowning as she watched him pace.

"Hede, please, _now is not the time!_ " warned the Captain, still walking before them.

Hede gave Maria an exasperated look and grimaced, so Maria lowered her head slightly and tried to suppress a smile.

"You know, Father, Grammy and Gumpa are always very happy to come here," said Marta as she looked, terrified, at her father.

His face softened and he slowed down. "I know, sweetheart, don't worry, I'm sure they can't wait to see you," he tried to say calmly.

At this moment, the roar of the car resounded from the other side of the door and the children rushed outside in an incomprehensible hubbub of "Grammy! Gumpa!" as the Captain stared in utter despair.

"Wait… Children… Wait!"

But it was too late, they had already gone through the door. Hede followed after them, throwing her brother a 'you-are-a-complete-idiot' look as she went.

There was only Maria and Georg left in the foyer, which looked even bigger than usual, in Maria's opinion, and she saw him nervously tapping his foot on the floor. He kept glancing around him, his eyebrows slightly furrowed, looking like a lost child waiting for his parents at the reception of an amusement park.

"Hey, it's going to be all right," Maria whispered as she went to him and gently put her hand on his forearm. She immediately felt his muscle tense, but then relax, and he brought his gaze to hers, his eyes diving into her own.

"Thank you," he said, breathing out.

There was something new in his eyes, something even more intense than usual, something stronger, and Maria wondered how long she'd been staring at him. Those eyes. Those beautiful eyes. Will she ever tire of getting lost in them? No, she decided, there was nothing more comforting, more soothing, more _loving_ than his eyes. Or perhaps his arms, she thought as she blushed, remembering the night of the party, all these nights ago - it felt like another life to her. She had been so fragile, so confused, and so hurt. But his eyes, and his arms, had felt like home to her. And now, she felt like his eyes were drawing strength from hers - they were asking for help. Without saying a word, she smiled and took her hand off his arm, stepped back gently while he still stared at her. Before his helpless look, she smiled once again, this time more encouragingly, with a nod of her head to the door. Drawing out a breath he had been holding, he straightened up and then made his way out. She waited a few more seconds, smiled to herself and headed to the door.

The first thing she saw was Franz's exasperated face as he brought two huge travelling bags inside. She stepped aside, and saw the children, Hede and two people she presumed were the grandparents all together. Maria started to head towards the small group but stopped next to the car. Drifting her eyes from the group, her focus fell on the Captain, who was walking to them, and she watched from her spot as he was nervously drummed his fingers on his trousers' pocket, and she heard him clear his throat.

It felt like a wave of ice had been through everyone and the silence was immediate. The children turned to their father, a worried expression written all over their lovely faces, then a small, thin woman with perfectly curled white hair emerged from between Liesl and Friedrich. She looked very elegant, wrapped in a long, black travelling coat, her hands gloved, and a large, pink silk hat, which matched her suit, sat atop her white curls.

"Georg, honey!" she exclaimed in English, her strong British accent shining through.

Her eyes sparkled with kindness and her perfectly painted lips curved into a smile. She opened her arms to him, and gave him what looked like a bones-crashing hug. Taken by surprise, the Captain awkwardly patted her shoulder.

"I am very happy to see you again, Countess," the Captain managed to say after a few minutes in her arms.

She let him go and studied him closely. "It's incredible how much you didn't change… Oh, John, look at him!"

Count Whitehead, a tall grey-haired man with a thin moustache, wearing a British suit, came to the Captain and extended his hand, which the Captain gladly shook.

"My boy, it's a pleasure to see you in good shape!"

"The pleasure is mine," the Captain answered politely. "Maybe you'd like to get some rest after such a long journey? Some refreshments are waiting for you in the lounge. The children will escort you there."

"Oh, thank you, dear," said the Countess, giving him an affectionate smile as she tenderly pinched his cheek.

Maria watched as the children lead their grandparents back inside, happily talking as they went. And as soon as the calm was back, Hede went past the Captain and pinched his cheek, just like the Countess had, with a huge smirk on her face.

"See? It's wasn't that horrible after all."

She grinned and joined the others inside, and Maria couldn't help but chuckle.

"What's so funny, Fräulein?" he said, spinning around to face her.

She hadn't moved since the Count and the Countess had come to greet the Captain, and neither of them had seemed to notice her. Maria was fascinated by them. Somehow, seeing the late Baroness's parents had helped her to understand and to figure out who she was. And since the Captain had very briefly spoken about her, she had caught herself daydreaming about the late Baroness von Trapp. She wondered how she looked. What she liked. What she did. How she'd met the Captain. And most of all, how she had stolen his heart.

But for now, she dismissed the thought and turned her attention to the Captain, trying desperately to wipe the stupid smile on her face away.

"Oh, nothing," she assured him as she went past him to get into the house, avoiding his gaze, trying to conceal the fact she was openly making fun of him.

She went to her bedroom and read three chapters of the book she had started the day Hede arrived, before joining the family in the lounge, so she could put the children to bed. Maria hadn't wanted to join them before, because she guessed they needed time between them, and she had decided that her presence and services weren't needed. She left her room, walked down to the lounge but she stopped at the doorway, caught by the loving sight that welcomed her.

The Count and the Countess were seated on the couch, surrounded by most of the children. Kurt had unrolled a big sheet of paper, and watched in wide interest as his grandfather was sketching a few shapes, and Brigitta was passionately talking to her grandmother, who had Gretl sitting on her lap. On the carpet, Friederich was showing Marta how to use a card set, and near the fireplace, Hede was animatedly talking with Liesl, Max and Louisa.

Of the seven children, Louisa had been the most difficult to understand. However, she had welcomed and trusted Maria as quickly as her siblings, but she remained the most discreet, the less spontaneous, and the most mysterious of the seven children. There was something in her that reminded Maria very much of the Captain. Behind her neutral façade, she sometimes caught glimpses of an intelligent girl, even very intelligent –sometimes she finished her homework even before Brigitta. And it was always right. But she was also very impulsive; a personality trait she had inherited, once again, from her father.

Thinking about him... she scanned the room, until her eyes found him crouched next to Marta, helping her to sort out the cards she had in her hands. It was so endearing. From the doorway, she could see the delight on Marta's face, as her lips formed an innocent smile and her eyes shined as her father spoke to her. Marta was undoubtedly the shyest child, and Maria knew how much it meant to her to spend some time with her father. The Captain was leaning over her shoulder to help her and he was slowly whispering in her ear, and Marta's face grew even brighter. Watching the scene, Maria couldn't help but think about the feeling of his mouth near _her_ ear, how it would feel to have his breath skimming over her skin, to have him whispering words of love while he held her close, smelling his scent until it drove her crazy...

Realizing she had been staring and getting lost in her thoughts, _again_ , she straightened herself. Quietly clearing her throat, she tried desperately not to think about how it could feel, and she let out a sigh of both longing and frustration.

Suddenly, Marta's head shot up and she got all excited when she noticed Maria at the doorway.

"Fräulein Maria!"

Almost simultaneously, everyone turned to her and Maria was caught off guard and found herself unable to say anything. What could she say anyway? The Count and the Countess were curiously watching her, but thankfully the Captain got up and came to rescue her.

"Count, Countess, this is Fräulein Maria, the children's governess."

"Oh, that's right!" exclaimed the Countess as she squeezed Gertl's arm. "Gretl's just told me about you, dear," she said with a benevolent smile.

"Oh," Maria said as she gave Gretl a bright smile. She then walked towards the couch and greeted the Count and the Countess. "How do you do?"

"Fabulous, dear!" the Countess said enthusiastically, and narrowed her eyes to look at her. It felt like she needed to analyse every person she met, mused Maria. "Oh, you are such a pretty girl! You have such beautiful eyes."

Maria's cheeks turned pink at the compliment, and she thanked the Countess. She was a very classy lady, and her eyes were incredibly bright, which made her look kind and gentle. Maria had noticed that her husband was not as talkative as she was, but he still looked like he was a nice person.

"Right, children, I believe it's time you go to bed!" Maria said as she clasped her hands. "Don't worry, you'll have plenty of time tomorrow to see your grandparents," she added as she heard the disappointed groans from the children

They all got on their feet and said goodnight to the remaining adults, and the Captain slowly approached her, and said quietly, so no one other than her would hear, "Fräulein, would you care to join me in my study after you put the children to bed?"

A bit surprised, she looked at him and blinked. "No –yes! Yes, I'll see you there."

"Good," he said and then gave her another of his handsome smiles, before he casually went off to kiss Brigitta on the forehead.

* * *

Her heart was about to break out her chest and fall down the stairs as she anxiously, yet excitedly, made her way to the Captain's study, about half an hour later after putting the little ones to sleep. Each step was making her heart pound in her chest even more, and she could feel the delicious feeling of anticipation going through her veins as she thought about the idea of being alone with him. It had been so long since she had met up with him at the end of the day, in fact, it hadn't happened since she had left the villa a month ago. And she had felt the same way, at the time; only she hadn't know why.

"Maria!"

She nearly jumped out of her skin and grabbed the bannister as she narrowly avoided tripping on the step in her fright.

"Oh my, are you okay?" Hede asked as she reached for Maria, scared that she had been close to tumbling down the stairs.

"Yes, yes, I'm all right - no worries!" Maria enthusiastically answered as she regained her composure and stuck a smile on her face.

"Where are you off to?"

"The Captain asked me to join him in his study when I was done with the children."

Hede narrowed her eyes suspiciously, just like Brigitta did whenever she could feel something was hiding behind her words, and Maria suddenly felt uncomfortable with the situation. The cold marble of the stairs' bannister suddenly felt hot under her hand, and Maria desperately tried to think of anything to break the awfully cumbersome silence that had fallen. There was no harm done, surely?

"Humph, I see," said Hede quietly as her face softened. Maria gave her a weak smile. "Look, Maria, I know we don't know each other very well… But if there is anything that bothers you, or anything you'd like to talk about, just know that you can come to me."

The words Hede said echoed in a spectacularly strange way and Maria felt her uneasiness growing. She didn't like the way Hede was gazing at her, it made her feel like she had done something wrong. Or perhaps she had? Maybe she had noticed how she looked at her brother, maybe she had seen how she behaved when he was around.

"Oh, I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable!" Hede said hurriedly, as if she had read Maria's mind, which made her go from red to white. "No, no, I mean, it mustn't always be easy for you to spend a great part of your time with the children and well –Georg. I just thought you might feel lonely sometimes, and I just wanted to let you know that I'm here if you need anything!"

A wave a relief went through Maria and she pulled herself together. "It's fine! I love the children very much and I'm pretty close to Liesl - she's a lovely young lady and practically an adult. I really appreciate that you care for me, but I'm all right!"

She saw for a split second a tiny flash of disappointment passing through Hede's eyes, but it was already over when she gave her a radiant smile instead.

"Perfect, perfect! Well, I won't hold you back for too long, even more if my brother awaits. He is perfectly capable of playing the prince charming and looking for you everywhere if he thinks you are not coming!"

Though she had quickly grown accustomed to Hede's humour and appreciated it very much, Maria felt once again the feeling of uneasiness taking possession of her whole body. She nervously bit the inside of her cheek, something she did whenever she wasn't at ease. To spare Hede from embarrassment, Maria forced a laugh and wished her goodnight before resuming her path, her head still working out what had just happened, and why Hede had acted in such a strange way.

Shaking her head as to come back to her senses, she softly knocked on the Captain's study door and when she heard his voice, she pushed the door open and walked in. He was sitting behind his enormous, prestigious desk and motioned for her to sit down on the chair facing him. As soon as she did, he pressed his palms on the varnish dark wood and looked at her with concern.

"Are you all right? I noticed you didn't come down with us when the children's grandparents were here and you were all flushed. Do you feel well? If you don't, please, don't hesitate to tell Frau Schmidt or Hede or even me, we'll make sure you get everything you need."

"That's funny," she said as soon as he had finished, "I just came across Hede and she told me something similar, but I'm perfectly fine!" She laughed heartily.

"Really? Hede said something similar to you? That's not what I –well, she must have noticed you didn't look well either." He stared at her in such an intense way that she forgot how to speak for a few seconds.

"No, really, I'm fine! I'm perfectly, perfectly fine, Captain, there is nothing to worry about!" She said cheerfully when the words came back to her brain.

"Then why didn't you join us in the living room?"

She shifted in her chair. "I thought you might need a family moment, and I didn't feel like you needed me, so I went to my room and waited until it was time for the children to go to bed," she answered simply.

He breathed a deep sigh and joined his hands together. "You know, Fräulein, you need to stop thinking so low of yourself. The children care a great deal about you, you mustn't feel like you are needed or not. They love to have you with them all the time, so don't ask yourself too many questions, and don't exclude yourself."

"Thank you," Maria said, giving him a grateful smile.

"For tomorrow," he resumed, "I hope you are intending to spend the evening with us, aren't you? I mean, as the children's governess and as Liesl's friend as well."

She rose her eyebrows and gazed at him in a complete amazement. She hadn't really thought about the matter, if she were honest, but she hadn't pictured herself dining with the Count and the Countess either. But hearing from the Captain himself that she was invited to attend made her doubts fly away.

"Yes, of course, I'd be delighted!"

She saw him relax and he smiled warmly – a huge, sincere smile.

"Well, I only wanted to make sure you were good so I guess that's all for tonight," he said. "Goodnight, Fräulein."

Rising from her seat, she smoothed her skirt, and then wished him goodnight as she walked out the room.

* * *

Maria was scanning her wardrobe frustratingly for something to put on before going down to dinner. It felt like nothing was beautiful enough for her to wear. She knew the children would be dressed similarly to what they'd worn at the party, she had seen Liesl's gown, and she wondered how she'd look like among them. Once again, she glanced at the small clock that was on her bedside table, and started to feel really nervous. She couldn't be late, not tonight, and she _still_ didn't know what to wear.

Sighing, she started to move her fingers across the dresses and found nothing that would be appropriate.

 _Appropriate…_

 _"_ _Where is that lovely thing you wore the other day? When the Captain couldn't take his eyes off you…"_

Blinking twice, Maria stood still, without moving, for what felt like an eternity. Then, she extended her arm to the closet, and with shaky fingers, she took every dress out, one by one, carefully laying them down on the bedspread. Mechanically, just like she had been jinxed, she repeated the same gesture until there was no other remaining item hanging on the closet. Except for one.

It was there, slightly floating, the blue chiffon material untouched and unchanged since she had once worn it. It was simply waiting to be taken out of the cupboard, waiting to be donned again. If the party felt like another life to her, then the puppet show… it was another _world._

Still astounded, she took the dress out, and gazed down at it, lightly tracing the flowery pattern with her fingertips. All these memories. The guitar. The song. Edelweiss. His voice. His eyes…

And then, just like she'd had the biggest revelation of her life, her face broke into a smile. A wide, beautiful smile - the kind of smile that hurts your cheekbones so much. And she couldn't stop smiling, very aware that she looked like a complete idiot; all alone in the middle of her room, holding a simple dress and smiling incessantly.

* * *

There was an enormous table beautifully set in the middle of the ballroom, and Maria was seated next to the Countess, who was happily chatting with her. All the children were very well dressed, and Liesl had looked delighted when Gretl had gasped when she saw her, thinking she was Cinderella. Hede was wearing a long, fluid dress that was a deep shade of green, and she was seated between Friedrich and Brigitta. The Count was across from Maria, and was talking with Max, but it was not on them she had laid her eyes. It had been on the Captain.

Just like always, he was seated at the end of the table, with Liesl was opposite him, and he looked even more handsome than he usually did. He was wearing a suit that looked very much like his party suit, but it was simpler, and there wasn't the Maria Theresia cross around his neck. If Maria had thought he looked utterly breath-taking last time, well, this time was even stronger. It was his attitude, she decided, that made him look that gorgeous. At the party, she could tell he was tense and wearing his aristocratic mask, while now, he was just enjoying himself and that changed a lot.

"Distracted, dear?"

Maria abruptly tore her eyes away from him and turned her attention to the Countess, who, judging by the look on her face, had witnessed her table partner hadn't been attentive to whatever she'd been telling her.

"I apologize, Countess, please go on."

But to Maria's surprise, the older woman gave her a knowing look and took a sip of champagne.

"Agathe used to look at him that way, too," she stated casually as she put her glass down.

Maria froze and almost choked as the potato she had just swallowed went down the wrong way.

"Here, dear," said the Countess as she handed her a glass of water and gently put her hand on her back. Maria gratefully drank the water and cast a worried glance around the table but, thankfully, no one had seemed to notice.

When Maria put her glass down, the Countess gave her another of her warm smiles that instantly made you like her. "They were really in love… It was a magnificent, a magnificent love story. I'd never seen Agathe happier than on her wedding day." The Countess trailed off, and Maria was completely absorbed by what the Countess was saying. She was hanging onto every word that came from the older woman's mouth.

"When she… well, when she passed, I was more devastated than words can describe. And even though John wouldn't be expressive about it, I knew he felt the same way. We tried to be there, for the children, but it felt like Georg was struggling harder than all of us to grieve. He was helpless. For years, he hadn't said anything, he hadn't done anything, he completely shut himself out. And now, here he is again, just like he used to be. I was certainly scared we had lost him, too. But he has changed, and this family is now happy again. I think you can be proud of it."

She gave her a watery smile and Maria resisted the urge to take this woman that she barely knew into her arms.

"I… I haven't done much…" she finally managed to say, but the Countess dismissed her words with a wave of her hand.

"I've spent some time with the children, and they told me you brought happiness back into their lives. I owe you so much. Agathe would have liked you. She would have liked you very much."

Marta had started to talk to her grandmother and she turned her attention to the little girl. Deeply touched by the Countess' words, Maria lowered her head and smiled to herself. Yes, she loved this family like her own.

The rest of the evening was as successful as the beginning. Liesl had been given a huge number of presents, but she had been clearly moved by her grandparents' and father's presents who had given her something that belonged to her mother. The Count and the Countess had given her a beautiful necklace, and the Captain a ring. The necklace and the ring were simple, yet very elegant and Liesl's eyes had shone with gratitude and emotion. She had embraced her father and grandparents, and they had ended up talking about anything and everything as they sat in the ballroom. Maria had gone shortly after to put Marta and Gretl to bed, and progressively, Brigitta and Kurt followed, then Louisa and Friederich, then the Count and the Countess, until there was only Liesl, Max, Hede, the Captain and Maria left. Finally, after an hour spent talking, they all went to bed.

But when Maria had retired to her room, she had felt restless. Her mind was wandering back to what the Countess had told her. To how Hede had acted the previous night. To the look the Captain had given her before his parents-in-law arrived. God, she needed air.

Still dressed in her blue chiffon dress, she went down the stairs and headed to the ballroom. The table was still there, but it had been cleaned, and the French doors had been opened, so the room was bathed in moonlight. The chandeliers were shining and the atmosphere felt like a dream to Maria as she idly roamed about the room, and then went to lean against the French door as she let her gaze drift over the courtyard. She hadn't been there since the Captain and her had danced the Laendler, she suddenly remembered, and oh, how she wanted to feel him against her again. How she wanted him to hold her again. Sighing, she kept her eyes on the courtyard, replaying the dance in her mind…

"I see I'm not the only one who has trouble getting to sleep."

Startled, she turned and there he was, standing mere meters away from her, staring at her with his hands in his trousers' pocket.

"Good evening, Captain," she smiled as he went to stand next to her, and stared with her at the empty courtyard.

"What's keeping you awake?"

"I was thinking, and I wanted to get some air."

"That makes the two of us."

There was a comfortable silence before he chuckled. "You know, the last time I was here, it was at the party. When we danced."

Though he tried to sound casual, Maria could detect the hint of nervousness in his voice, and she, too, started to feel a small knot tying in her stomach.

"Was it?"

"Mmhmm," he said absent-mindedly before abruptly turning to her. "We never got to finish that dance."

Maria stared at him in confusion as he went to the gramophone and picked up several disc sleeves. "Ah-ha!" He exclaimed as he selected a sleeve and took the disc out. Seconds later, it was playing, and Maria immediately recognized the notes of the Laendler.

Slowly, agonisingly slowly, he came to her, extended his hand, and gave her a smile.

"May I have this dance?"

With his blue, piercing eyes staring right into her soul, she instantly forgot everything, and she could only feel herself nodding. Just as if it were a dream, she took his hand and he led her outside, and they began the first steps of the Laendler.

 _To be continued…_

* * *

 **Author's note: Hi! Me again! **

**I don't have many comments to do about it (for once), except that it is a long chapter, so I'll let you with it.**

 **Special thanks to the amazing INeverExplainAnything who checked it and helped me with it.**

 **I know I say it every time, but please, leave a review with your thoughts!**


	9. All I Ever Wanted

**_"_** ** _You'll never find peace of mind until you listen to your heart." George Michael_**

 ** _"_** ** _Whatever we are waiting for - peace of mind, contentment, grace, the inner awareness of simple abundance - it will surely come to us, but only when we are ready to receive it with an open and grateful heart." Sarah Ban Breathnach_**

* * *

 _"_ _Mmhmm," he said absent-mindedly before abruptly turning to her. "We never got to finish that dance."_

 _Maria stared at him in confusion as he went to the gramophone and picked up several disc sleeves. "Ah-ha!" He exclaimed as he selected a sleeve and took the disc out. Seconds later, it was playing, and Maria immediately recognized the notes of the Laendler._

 _Slowly, agonisingly slowly, he came to her, extended his hand, and gave her a smile._

 _"_ _May I have this dance?"_

 _With his blue, piercing eyes staring right into her soul, she instantly forgot everything, and she could only feel herself nodding. Just as if it were a dream, she took his hand and he led her outside, and they began the first steps of the Laendler._

He hadn't been able to help it. It had been too tempting. All too tempting.

From the moment he had seen her taking her seat in the dining room Georg had completely forgotten about anything else around him. She had donned the blue dress he liked so much; the blue dress that made her look like an angel sent by God himself to save the whole of humanity. To save _him_.

It hadn't gotten any better as the evening progressed. He had been completely enthralled. At dinner, he had seen her talking to his mother-in-law, and he had seen the look on her face; her dreamy smile and her innocent eyes that were wide open as she appeared to drink in every word. Georg had jealously wished she would look at him that way too as he'd watched her face glowing with interest as she listened - she was so captivating. He had hardly been able to take his eyes off her the entire time.

This night, this dress, her face - it had woken up too many memories; it had stirred something within him. And when once again he had found himself immersed in the darkness of his wide bed, which was definitely not meant for one, it had been too much to bear.

The fact that his bed was too big for him had become more and more striking the past few days. Since they had argued in his study all these weeks ago, and since he had started to play a very dangerous game with her; just like he had done the time in the kitchen or during Capture the Flag. He had been unable to stop himself from picturing her as a permanent member of his family. He wanted her to stay forever.

The other night he had had a very disturbing dream. Truth be told, it wasn't like he had never had an inappropriate dream about her before, but this one hadn't been anything like the wild, unforbidden dreams he had had before. No, this one had been extremely frustrating for him.

He had seen her in this bed. Not with him, he bitterly thought, but he had seen her peacefully sleeping in his bed, completely naked he guessed, because all he could see was her bare shoulders, arms, and legs, as she was wrapped from chest to knees in the white sheets. And this was a vision he had not been able to forget. Just like an angel who was not to be disturbed.

Now here he was again, staring blankly at his bed - his terribly empty bed - with the image of her lying in it naked stuck in his mind. _God, he'd needed air_.

Still fully dressed and somewhat confused, he had exited his room in a desperate need to forget this vision. A drink was very much needed he'd decided, but as he was making his way to his study, something made him change his mind. With an invisible force he couldn't define, he had been attracted like a magnet to the ballroom, and that's where he had seen her floating like some fairy creature in the moonlight, still wearing the goddamn dress. He hadn't been able to stop himself. He had to ask her. He had to feel it once more. He had to make sure he hadn't imagined it all from the beginning.

* * *

Taking her hand slowly in his, he led her slowly to the courtyard and they started the first steps of the Laendler. He risked a glance at her: her cheeks were rosy and she didn't look him in the eye as they moved. With one of her hands in his, he made her spin around and he could briefly see her lips pulling into a smile, and he immediately felt his muscles relax. They were now side to side, her left arm across his chest and her right hand in his, and she was truly smiling. She was so beautiful. So pure. So graceful.

His hands were now tightly grasping hers, and they were facing each other briefly. The blueness of her eyes was hypnotising and the look on her face was unreadable. But then he was spinning her around again, and he had to stop to clap in his hands as she was lifting her skirt and moving around him. He took advantage of the situation to notice how floaty the dress was, and how effortlessly she seemed to move. Still clapping his hands, he joined her.

That was the moment. He felt her hand reaching for his from behind and before he knew it, he was holding her close, pulling her even closer to him by the waist. She was looking at him straight in the eye, and it was the same burning, pleading look she'd given him the night of the party. In that precise moment, there was nothing else for Georg than her eyes.

God.

He loved her.

And so, after what felt like an eternity to him, he saw her closing her eyes, and he did the same, leaning gently towards her. The gesture was slow, without rushing anything, and he was close, so close he was sure he could feel her slightly shivering in his arms. But suddenly, when his mouth was barely a centimetre away from hers, she took a sharp intake of breath and the spell was broken, and he felt her hands slipping from his, and then she was gone.

He opened his eyes abruptly, like he had just woken up from a bad dream. But no, he wasn't in his bed, and not in his room either, he really was standing in the middle of the courtyard. It took him two seconds before coming back to his senses, and he saw a blue figure running to the ballroom, the echo of the music and her footsteps ringing in his ears. _Oh no, he wasn't going to let her go again._ Without thinking, he rushed after her and into the ballroom.

"Maria! Wait, please!" Georg called desperately.

But she didn't stop, she was still racing and he couldn't make out what she was saying, but he caught a few words, like: "Tried to take advantage of me… I'm not stupid… Thinks I wouldn't mind…"

"Maria… Please, _darling_ , listen to me…"

He had barely whispered it, she probably didn't hear him anyway as she was still mumbling incoherent words, but his distress was becoming too much to bear, and she was about to cross the door.

"Maria! Please, stop!"

Too late, her hand was on the handle and all of a sudden Georg felt the last wave of courage and fear take hold over him. In a last attempt of despair he stopped a few feet away from her.

"Don't you feel it?" he finally said, as if he had been knocked in the stomach. " _Can't you feel it?_ "

There was a sudden silence as the music from the gramophone came to an end, and his last words echoed in the room. Wordlessly, her hand still hanging upon the handle, she turned to him and her eyes locked with his; her face both sad and beautiful, her eyes full of pain and hurt, but still dry, because she never cried. He had never seen her shedding a single tear, and now wasn't an exception. But he didn't need to see tears to see what a mess she was. Her lips were slightly parted, and her chest was rising and falling, and he wanted to gather her in his arms and soothe all her fears and insecurities. Taking a deep breath, he tried to think properly, but couldn't. He couldn't think of anything to tell her but the truth, and the heavy silent was unbearable, the tension in the air was electric.

"It's you," he finally said. "It's you, the person I've been waiting for four long years. Not Elsa, not Max, not Hede, not the children, but you. You are the only one who's been able to see what was in me. You are the only one who's been able to see who I really am. You are the only one who's been able to make me feel again. You're the only one, Maria. There's not a single day, a single hour, a single minute that passes by where I'm not thinking about you. I want you. I _need_ you. And I don't know what I can do to prove you how much how care for you, but if there's only one thing I can tell you for sure, it's that I love you. Nothing would ever be able to-"

But he was sharply cut off by her small figure running to him. He didn't even have the time to blink before she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him fully on the mouth. Completely surprised and shocked, it took him a second to realize what was actually happening and he urgently wrapped his arms around her, lifting her from the floor and kissing her back with equal force and passion. _God, she felt marvellous._ After what felt like an eternity, they pulled back for air, and looked at each other in a way they had never looked at each other before. She looked slightly concerned, but Georg's eyes lit up with pure happiness and she immediately relaxed.

"I love you." He planted another kiss on her lips. "I love you." Another kiss. "I love you, I love you, I love you…"

He continued planting kisses on her lips, then on her cheek, her jawline, then he bent his head and kissed her neck, tasting her soft, milky skin for the first time. He was surely dreaming. But her soft sights were proving that he was not.

"Oh, can this be happening to me?" she barely whispered.

Georg slowed his kisses and raised his head, looking her in the eye. He took her chin in one hand and as the other gently caressed her side.

"Oh, yes, Maria, it's happening to you." He released her chin and took her hand, kissing each finger slowly, his eyes never leaving hers. "And you deserve so much more…"

"What is going to happen now?" she said, her voice slightly trembling and her eyes looking anywhere else but his eyes. "I'm no one. I'm just some mountain girl from nowhere, with no family, no friends, no money and no title." He dropped her hand and she daringly raised her head to look at him. "What would somebody like you want with someone like me?"

The words she had just said were like receiving a bullet for Georg. He gathered her in his arms and held her tightly, a silent promise that he would protect her and be there for her until the very end. How could she say something like that? How could she think so little of herself?

"Darling, don't you ever say something like that again. I don't care whether you are rich or poor, whether you are from high society or not. It doesn't mean anything to me."

"But people… they will talk and-"

"I don't give a damn about what people could possibly say!" he released her from his grip and took her hands, facing her again. "Maria, don't you see? All I want is you. All I want is you by my side, as my wife, as the mother of my children and hopefully our future children. That's all I ever wanted."

Her eyes were growing wider. "You must be out of your mind…" she breathed in complete disbelief.

"Marry me."

"What?"

"You heard me."

"But-"

"Please, Maria, marry me. If you need to be sure that I love you, if you need proof, then say yes."

She was silent for a moment, but then she looked at him, and smiled.

"Yes," she whispered. "Yes, I will marry you, _Georg_."

He didn't know if it was because of her actual answer or the fact she had just said his name, but within a couple of seconds, he had her pinned against the door and was ravaging her lips with his. She was responding to him with such force and such passion that he thought he might give in completely. He licked her lips with his tongue, seeking for entrance and she opened her mouth to him. She tasted like Heaven. Still kissing her, he caressed her sides with his hands, and no matter how much he liked that dress, he wanted to rip it from her and have all of her. She was driving him crazy. And when he thought it couldn't get any better, she was clinging to him, her hips brushing against his painful arousal, and he felt a moan escaping his throat as she gasped in surprise. He quickly realized what he was doing. Had he gone mad? Where had his legendary self-control gone?

"Maria, I'm so sorry, I'm afraid I've lost control of things," he said, taking a step from her and passing a frustrated hand through his hair.

"No, it's just that I am not… used to that sort of thing," she said breathlessly and offered him an apologizing smile.

"I know. We should go back to our rooms before things really get out of hand," he said reluctantly, without wanting to leave her for a single second.

"But I don't want to…" she sighed. "I don't want us to be apart now that… now that we are _engaged._ "

She wasn't making things easier, Georg thought as he watched his _future wife_ giving him the most adorable look.

"Right," he finally gave in. _You better control yourself, old man,_ he thought.

Taking her hand in his, he led her out of the ballroom, crossed the foyer and opened the door of his study. She came in first, and he couldn't help but smile to himself. From now, he was going to be fine. Whatever happens, his family was going to be safe. Maria had saved them. Had saved him.

Entering the room, he closed the door behind him and smiled to the beautiful creature that was staring at him with the same wide, innocent eyes that had studied him the first time he came across her in the ballroom.

Yes, he decided, they were going to be happy.

 _The End_

* * *

 **Author's note : ****Hello and Merry Christmas!**

 **A huge thank you to INeverExplainAnything for her help on this chapter, and this story!**

 **Thank you to IDontKnowYourSignal for helping me from the very beginning, and to each and every one of the lovely reviewers.**

 **I know, I've disappeared for two months and left you hanging, that was really mean of me, I truly apologize; but things have been a little complicated lately.**

 **Anyway, this story ends now! I hope y'all are happy with it. I might write an epilogue, I don't know yet, let me know what you think!**

 **And as always, please, let me a review with your thoughts!**


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